Change to the ban system.

[Vahlnir]

I'm trying to change and it's not easy at all. But what I would like is to have a way to not lose my account for ever if I end up breaking a rule by mistake.

It may be best to step away from the game then until you can get a handle on things. If you're trying? Great! However, that does not give you a free pass. Once you've shown you have improved there's nothing wrong with making an appeal to SE customer service. But there needs to be evidence of this. Actions speak louder than words. You got yourself into this mess, you will have to dig yourself back out.