"Final Fantasy XIV has such a wonderful, welcoming community!"
Part Four (End)

Of course, none of us are mind readers, and we can't know, without asking, what any given player's difficulty may be. And that, the asking part, is crucial. Asking, and offering compassion, is how you engage people, how you show them that "wonderful community". Now this doesn't mean that nobody should ever crack a joke, or speak the truth when someone needs to take one large chill pill with a glass of shut up juice. But don't lead with that...lead with the question, "What is bothering you, and why?" And, when you get their answer - their whole answer - be kind. Don't tell them how stupid you think they are, or childish, or ignorant, or intolerant, or what-have-you. Ask them what would ease their stress, solve their problem, and calm their emotions.

The time for criticism, humor, or confrontation is not in the heat of the moment. It is after the crisis (and you must not ever forget that to the other person, it is a crisis, of some magnitude), when emotions aren't running so high and people aren't defaulting to defensiveness and hostility. And don't ever forget, that these players are also a part of our community. They're probably at least as smart and experienced as you, but they have a different understanding, and different specific experiences which give them a perspective that isn't yours, and may not include something that seems obvious to you. And please, always remember that these are likely also veteran players. Newbies rarely, if ever, feel comfortable enough to open up, express their feelings, and share their pain or frustration. If a member of your FC, or just a long time veteran associate, is willing to voice their unhappiness in emotional terms, it probably mean that they feel safe, and trust you and whoever else in involved. Value that trust, and respect it, because it is very easy to ruin and lose it. And once that happens, if they were a part of your Free Company, your "wonderful community", you can bet they won't be any more. And they will likely go away, bitter, and wounded, and will likely spread the toxicity you showed them to others...including those new players we all value so much, and want to feel good about joining us in our little world.

And new players aren't going to keep coming to and enjoying a world full of unhappy, alienated, bitter veterans who are only interested in their pecking order and making themselves laugh at the expense of others.