Well you can upgrade the airship with non-fc members too just so long as said players have crafting jobs, this is why many people create private FC's just for gil making and their own solo-fun, you can also do expeditions with just you and your wife. Being LGBT isn't going to hurt or help your recruitment efforts, at most it may make some few more people uncomfortable than it would comfortable; limiting your applications slightly but not much.

The real issue is XIV doesn't promote enough reasons for FC members to assist leaders, there is little incentive for them to want to help leaders make or use airships/subs, there is little reason for them to want to help other members when everything is so readily easy to solo and with the matchmaking service as adept as it is now there is little reason to even take other members into things that do require multiple players. Mostly though it boils down to two main things, people who play online video games are less inclined to make friends if they dont have to, and this game makes it easy to not have to. Best you can do is find people who actually do enjoy being social first and competitive second. This has been my experience at least.