Is it possible to put too much pressure on yourself?

[MetalSnakeXI1]

Having gotten involved in some discussions lately, I have to ask, is there such a thing as putting too much pressure on yourself? This started in another thread, but I didn't want to take away from current discussions, so here I am. Under my pen standards for myself, I'm averaging about 5.3k in damage as NIN on O9S with my static. I regard myself as a garbage player because of those numbers. My question is two fold.

Is it possible that I'm being too harsh on myself? (I have reason to believe that my numbers are bad made on other discussions I've been involved in on the forums)

The other question is, is it possible to put too much pressure on yourself, whether it's in casual or raiding content?

Relax and don't let yourself get stressed about it.And if your party are being rude about it just leave them,they're not worth your time

Tho I will admit I did have similar thoughts but as a tank after a level roullette run in Qarn which started my "tank panic" phase for a while but as the time went by I calmed down and put it behind me

As long as you're doing damage,learning the mechanic and keeping yourself alive,you're helpful to your team,no matter what others would tell you

And remember at the end of the day,XIV is just a video game.And video games are made to entertain you so make that your number 1 goal cuz as long as you're having fun then thats all that matters

Tho to reiterate on what said before,Samurai and Dragoon are much less stressful DPS jobs...especially Samurai.So I recommend you give those a shot

[MetalSnakeXI1]

Always thinking you played like garbage is a good motivator for improvement. 5.3k is honestly on the low side. Set small goals for yourself each week like try to do 200 dps more every time you enter the fight and you will start doing decent dps in no time

This honestly could also work the other way around as a demotivator cuz eventually if the stress piled too much it would only make their anxiety worse and if they ended up being depressed than motivated,they're more likely to stop playing rather than keep going

A better way in my opinion,even if it's a bit similar to what you said,is even when you do good you say "I can do better" rather than devaluing the progress you have made thus far.

[Gin_Gray]

No one magical becomes the best(or decent), it’s just a game. Chill out, practice and over time you’ll get better. You have multiple avenues of ways to improve from pov,guides etc this pressure to preform the best is all in your head. Set improvements goals weekly like someone said +200 dps every week on your best and study the encounters. Also have your expectations within reason assuming your group logs as it’s week 4-5 and ninja requires optimizing.

[Lilseph]

The more you play, the more you practice, the more you study, the better you'll become. Don't expect instant results, though. Dedication, time and patience is all you need. Admitting that there's always room for improvement is something that even the best of the bests think. It's a long road for the vast majority.

Is it possible that I'm being too harsh on myself?

Yes, as always. If you're not going to use it as a tool for improvement, then it's gonna cause more harm than good.

The other question is, is it possible to put too much pressure on yourself, whether it's in casual or raiding content?

Yes. When you ask me to check your DPS in normal, then you're taking it too seriously and you're with that constant pressure of "I need to do this perfectly". Line-up matters, kill speed matters, buff alignment matters, knowing the fight like the back of your hand matters, having the right gear matters. These are the things you need to take into consideration before you pull the trigger and snap at yourself.

I honestly don't know what you're expecting. Like I told you before, you won't become amazing overnight. Like I said above, it's a long road and it will take quite a bit of time and practice.

As a personal experience, as you may know, I keep all that drama for myself. When I have a terrible raid night I may dread it a little but withdraw, study the streamings, review the guides, talk to my static and I aim to address the issues that were there. If there's something I'm missing, I ask for their feedback. Group effort is group effort, and they are the first ones that should know about your concerns. If they are okay with everything, as long as you all clear, then it's all gucci, call it a day and go sleep in peace.

[KaivaC]

Here's the core of the problem that I'm having at present, which is why this problem is continually circulating in my head (and probably driving me barmy in the meantime). I have received plenty of help on NIN, and I've gotten to the point where I'm doing pretty good. Now, I've been told before by someone - I honestly don't remember who anymore - that unless I'm hitting green logs and above at all times, I'm basically a garbage player, and unless I'm consistently hitting at a minimum, orange levels, I'm not really good at the game. That's my driving point that is frustrating me. The other part of this problem is that I had a peer who started at around the same time that I did, and at present, they are so much better than me by a hugely long shot, and that is driving me up the wall that, as it stands, I am not going to come close to those levels.

When I say in the past that I've spent entire playtimes just doing nothing but practicing and training prior to the release of Alphascape, keep in mind that I have a tendency to play for about 15-20 hours in a single setting when I have absolutely nothing to do, which tends to be most weekends. Now, what having 5k as a NIN says to me, personally, is that I am bad. Based on conversations I've had with various individuals, those numbers, which most raiders were easily surpassing in Sigmascape, tell me that I am bad.

The fact that I can only hit green-purple in casual content, tells me that I am bad.

Maybe I just have the wrong mentality, but again, because of past conversations I have had, this is what I have come to believe. I dunno, maybe I'll just drive myself to the point where I just can't be satisfied until I'm averaging orange or purples, but then, that's a crazy goal to set, now isn't it? I dunno what to do. I can't fall back because then I'll fall behind. I'm quite sure people would agree that at present, I'm playing terribly as a raider at this level, yes?

[Vahlnir]

Here's the core of the problem that I'm having at present, which is why this problem is continually circulating in my head (and probably driving me barmy in the meantime). I have received plenty of help on NIN, and I've gotten to the point where I'm doing pretty good. Now, I've been told before by someone - I honestly don't remember who anymore - that unless I'm hitting green logs and above at all times, I'm basically a garbage player, and unless I'm consistently hitting at a minimum, orange levels, I'm not really good at the game. That's my driving point that is frustrating me. The other part of this problem is that I had a peer who started at around the same time that I did, and at present, they are so much better than me by a hugely long shot, and that is driving me up the wall that, as it stands, I am not going to come close to those levels.

When I say in the past that I've spent entire playtimes just doing nothing but practicing and training prior to the release of Alphascape, keep in mind that I have a tendency to play for about 15-20 hours in a single setting when I have absolutely nothing to do, which tends to be most weekends. Now, what having 5k as a NIN says to me, personally, is that I am bad. Based on conversations I've had with various individuals, those numbers, which most raiders were easily surpassing in Sigmascape, tell me that I am bad.

The fact that I can only hit green-purple in casual content, tells me that I am bad.

Maybe I just have the wrong mentality, but again, because of past conversations I have had, this is what I have come to believe. I dunno, maybe I'll just drive myself to the point where I just can't be satisfied until I'm averaging orange or purples, but then, that's a crazy goal to set, now isn't it? I dunno what to do. I can't fall back because then I'll fall behind. I'm quite sure people would agree that at present, I'm playing terribly as a raider at this level, yes?

The more you think about it, the more frustrated you are going to get...and you will only do worse from there. Stop for a moment. Breathe. It's okay. Maybe it's time for you to take a break from raiding if it's stressing you out this much. It's unhealthy. Seriously.

[Gin_Gray]

...

Yes, you have the wrong mentality and seriously do need to get out of your head. There are so many factors and differences that determine how you do and how your team preforms, regardless of when you and your friends picked up your classes. If your expecting high purples and orange from something you've just recently pick up then you're setting your bar way to high. Honestly do you know how %tile work? As you're going up against people who have put in years of work into a class. I'm not saying it impossible but your bar and expectation are well above reason and comparing yourself to an entirely different class and person is ridiculous and crazy at best.

My honest advice is to stop comparing yourself to others and look at your own growth, work with your team and continue to improve. Also if parsing etc is getting you down why not just not look, I mean till you start optimizing for a fight why not just focus on your rotation and when your good and ready then do so. There is a level of maturity needed when it comes to these things and if your just chasing high purple/orange then I don't know.

[MetalSnakeXI1]

Here's the core of the problem that I'm having at present, which is why this problem is continually circulating in my head (and probably driving me barmy in the meantime). I have received plenty of help on NIN, and I've gotten to the point where I'm doing pretty good. Now, I've been told before by someone - I honestly don't remember who anymore - that unless I'm hitting green logs and above at all times, I'm basically a garbage player, and unless I'm consistently hitting at a minimum, orange levels, I'm not really good at the game. That's my driving point that is frustrating me. The other part of this problem is that I had a peer who started at around the same time that I did, and at present, they are so much better than me by a hugely long shot, and that is driving me up the wall that, as it stands, I am not going to come close to those levels.

When I say in the past that I've spent entire playtimes just doing nothing but practicing and training prior to the release of Alphascape, keep in mind that I have a tendency to play for about 15-20 hours in a single setting when I have absolutely nothing to do, which tends to be most weekends. Now, what having 5k as a NIN says to me, personally, is that I am bad. Based on conversations I've had with various individuals, those numbers, which most raiders were easily surpassing in Sigmascape, tell me that I am bad.

The fact that I can only hit green-purple in casual content, tells me that I am bad.

Maybe I just have the wrong mentality, but again, because of past conversations I have had, this is what I have come to believe. I dunno, maybe I'll just drive myself to the point where I just can't be satisfied until I'm averaging orange or purples, but then, that's a crazy goal to set, now isn't it? I dunno what to do. I can't fall back because then I'll fall behind. I'm quite sure people would agree that at present, I'm playing terribly as a raider at this level, yes?

This mentality is really bad for your mental health especially when it seeps into regular normal content.

I'd personally recommend you take a little break and rethink this a bit.Put raiding aside for a while(especially savage raids and extreme trials) and try to relax with some sidequests maybe or heck....play a different game for a little bit then come back

Personally,once you come back, I recommend you pick a DPS other than ninja

Like I said before,with samurai and dragoon you barely need to worry about that much optimization compared to the Ninja.For dragoon really all you need to worry about is keeping the dragon gauge up to power your jump attacks and execute Wheeling Thrust+Fang and Claw which is easy to do.And for Samurai you got even less things to worry about

[KaivaC]

Yes. When you ask me to check your DPS in normal, then you're taking it too seriously and you're with that constant pressure of "I need to do this perfectly". Line-up matters, kill speed matters, buff alignment matters, knowing the fight like the back of your hand matters, having the right gear matters. These are the things you need to take into consideration before you pull the trigger and snap at yourself.

Guilty as charged. I have asked several trusted people to lemme know this information in normal dungeon runs. Maintaining a high DPS number while being able to provide my utility and doing mechanics is the most important thing to me, whether it's in a dungeon or a raid. My personal highmark at present is 5.9k in The Burn, which I still think is bad, but that's just me, I guess.

Yes, you have the wrong mentality and seriously do need to get out of your head. There are so many factors and differences that determine how you do and how your team preforms, regardless of when you and your friends picked up your classes. If your expecting high purples and orange from something you've just recently pick up then you're setting your bar way to high. Honestly do you know how %tile work? As you're going up against people who have put in years of work into a class. I'm not saying it impossible but your bar and expectation are well above reason and comparing yourself to an entirely different class and person is ridiculous and crazy at best.

My honest advice is to stop comparing yourself to others and look at your own growth, work with your team and continue to improve. Also if parsing etc is getting you down why not just not look, I mean till you start optimizing for a fight why not just focus on your rotation and when your good and ready then do so. There is a level of maturity needed when it comes to these things and if your just chasing high purple/orange then I don't know.

Truth be told, I came back from my previous break specifically for raiding. Didn't even come back for Monster Hunter, and that was the biggest piece of content I'd wanted to do when I took a break (it was about a month away when I stepped away from FFXIV). To be fair, I can't help but compare because I need to know what I'm doing wrong.

This mentality is really bad for your mental health especially when it seeps into regular normal content.

I'd personally recommend you take a little break and rethink this a bit.Put raiding aside for a while(especially savage raids and extreme trials) and try to relax with some sidequests maybe or heck....play a different game for a little bit then come back

Personally,once you come back, I recommend you pick a DPS other than ninja

Like I said before,with samurai and dragoon you barely need to worry about that much optimization compared to the Ninja.For dragoon really all you need to worry about is keeping the dragon gauge up to power your jump attacks and execute Wheeling Thrust+Fang and Claw which is easy to do.And for Samurai you got even less things to worry about

NIN, MCH, BRD, BLM, and MCH had been the other jobs that I tried prior to my break in which I had used in raiding. Never really gave SAM a try, but because of their reputation, I didn't bother with the job in a raid setting, save for a few times where I just didn't care about damage numbers. SMN was my main, but I gave up on that when I realize that I wasn't as good as I had believed (back in my little elitist phase that some of the regulars here remember). I started NIN on my main because I hadn't tried it, but I like the job enough that it's become my main DPS. I have a pretty core understanding of the job...I don't have a core understanding of why I'm slacking as much as I am at the moment. I fear that if I take a break again, I will not clear out this tier, as the only fights I still haven't cleared in the previous tier are still Neo Exdeath and God Kefka (and will likely never clear now that everyone has moved on).

[van_arn]

Here's the core of the problem that I'm having at present, which is why this problem is continually circulating in my head (and probably driving me barmy in the meantime). I have received plenty of help on NIN, and I've gotten to the point where I'm doing pretty good. Now, I've been told before by someone - I honestly don't remember who anymore - that unless I'm hitting green logs and above at all times, I'm basically a garbage player, and unless I'm consistently hitting at a minimum, orange levels, I'm not really good at the game. That's my driving point that is frustrating me. The other part of this problem is that I had a peer who started at around the same time that I did, and at present, they are so much better than me by a hugely long shot, and that is driving me up the wall that, as it stands, I am not going to come close to those levels.

When I say in the past that I've spent entire playtimes just doing nothing but practicing and training prior to the release of Alphascape, keep in mind that I have a tendency to play for about 15-20 hours in a single setting when I have absolutely nothing to do, which tends to be most weekends. Now, what having 5k as a NIN says to me, personally, is that I am bad. Based on conversations I've had with various individuals, those numbers, which most raiders were easily surpassing in Sigmascape, tell me that I am bad.

The fact that I can only hit green-purple in casual content, tells me that I am bad.

Maybe I just have the wrong mentality, but again, because of past conversations I have had, this is what I have come to believe. I dunno, maybe I'll just drive myself to the point where I just can't be satisfied until I'm averaging orange or purples, but then, that's a crazy goal to set, now isn't it? I dunno what to do. I can't fall back because then I'll fall behind. I'm quite sure people would agree that at present, I'm playing terribly as a raider at this level, yes?

This gives me the distinct impression that a break would help you out more than anything else.