Oh...they were definitely rude, but judging by what you say your formula is, it's obvious that you're new to the game and don't fully understand how tanking works in ffxiv.

I highly recommend you read a PLD guide and ask veteran tanks for some guidance. You can also join the balance discord if you want, you can find a lot of interesting resources there, from beginner's to advanced guides, BiS, in depth theorycrafting and so on.