Things to think about before you call someone "Bad"

[van_arn]

How often does it happen? The situation where someone has to tell off, critique or advice another player? How often do you find yourself in a situation where you want to tell someone else they are bad?

I'd say every eighth dungeon has someone doing something so flat out wrong they're unsalvageable and I decide to give them the boot or I bail because I can't tell whether the party is made of bots and go make a sandwich instead.

I'm more the sort that says dumb unrelated things in dungeons rather than calling people out, mostly because the only time I need to care what other people are doing is when they're just baffling in their incapability. Heck, I'm usually excited to see someone doing well. I like to ask for summoners why summoners tend to do alright, but blms are hot and miss-- mostly miss.

Pretty much the "meanest" I've gotten recently was in a mentor roulette, I was healing. I joined an in progress Tsukiyomi and they already had echo so I knew it was going to be a bad time. We did clear it in one shot with me, but I would've kicked two if we had wiped.

The black mage proceeded to trip over his own two feet, and my cohealer flopped on cleaves. The two of them combined had eleven deaths, and most everyone else had one death (except myself, the tank, and a single sam-- go figure).

"Mean" to me -- which is more along the lines of tough love -- is saying "if you died more than once with echo, you didn't earn that clear. Requeue and do better." Before exiting. Dropping something like this after a clear is fairly important, since it does a good job of souring the win for people that need to not eat cleaves. Repeatedly.

Which is actually straight up blunt hard facts. Nobody singled out, nobody given a part on the head for being useless, and potentially the first real time any of them have gotten pushback for failing to stay out of the fire.

Do I think it did any good for that healer? I sincerely doubt it, but if there's even a 1:50 chance it provides the kick in the pants they needed to queue again sometime and watch cleaves that's good enough for me.

Heck, even if it scares that healer off from healing anything "because the mean elitist will make a sad" past Tsukiyomi that's a win for the community as a whole.

[KaivaC]

I'd say every eighth dungeon has someone doing something so flat out wrong they're unsalvageable and I decide to give them the boot or I bail because I can't tell whether the party is made of bots and go make a sandwich instead.

I'm more the sort that says dumb unrelated things in dungeons rather than calling people out, mostly because the only time I need to care what other people are doing is when they're just baffling in their incapability. Heck, I'm usually excited to see someone doing well. I like to ask for summoners why summoners tend to do alright, but blms are hot and miss-- mostly miss.

Pretty much the "meanest" I've gotten recently was in a mentor roulette, I was healing. I joined an in progress Tsukiyomi and they already had echo so I knew it was going to be a bad time. We did clear it in one shot with me, but I would've kicked two if we had wiped.

The black mage proceeded to trip over his own two feet, and my cohealer flopped on cleaves. The two of them combined had eleven deaths, and most everyone else had one death (except myself, the tank, and a single sam-- go figure).

"Mean" to me -- which is more along the lines of tough love -- is saying "if you died more than once with echo, you didn't earn that clear. Requeue and do better." Before exiting. Dropping something like this after a clear is fairly important, since it does a good job of souring the win for people that need to not eat cleaves. Repeatedly.

Which is actually straight up blunt hard facts. Nobody singled out, nobody given a part on the head for being useless, and potentially the first real time any of them have gotten pushback for failing to stay out of the fire.

Do I think it did any good for that healer? I sincerely doubt it, but if there's even a 1:50 chance it provides the kick in the pants they needed to queue again sometime and watch cleaves that's good enough for me.

Heck, even if it scares that healer off from healing anything "because the mean elitist will make a sad" past Tsukiyomi that's a win for the community as a whole.

Personally, I prefer to be singled out, but that's just me...it wouldn't work for everyone, but I think what you do is good, especially at that level of content. I tend to encourage it in my runs, because I know I'm bad - though I prefer to have a parse so I can see why I'm bad, so I can improve on that. I think we need a little more tough love in Stormblood, imho.