Things to think about before you call someone "Bad"

[Legion88]

Do you leave if you make a mistake?

Yes, i bow before my own rules.
Why shouldn't I?
A rule is a rule and has to be enforced or it is useless.

[Vidu]

What can I say? When people here justify that kind of behavior it opens up old wounds

I'm not saying this applies to your case - I dont know what happend back then and there are probably ways to be less blunt about it, but this just reminded me of a thread from a few weeks ago in wish a guy complained about being kicked from O11NM along with a message that he sucked at his job, paladin aswell, "funny" enough.

Over the course of the thread it turned out that the person in question actually sucked very, very much - only using their aggro-combo, when not being the MT, not responding to the chat and when called out on it they basically replied with "If the MT didnt want me to steal the boss they should have said so!" (which they clearly shouldnt have to say in the first place, thats tanking 101). His actions alone caused the whole party to wipe, because the boss kept spinning and killed everyone in the process.
So, again: I'm not saying the kick you recived two years ago was of the same nature, but I just wanted to illustrate that in some cases this behaviour is very much justified - not the insult, of course, but the kick of someone who clearly caused a wipe due to total cluelessness when they shouldnt be clueless at all.

And as someone who has been through their share of therapy for depression, I'd like to tell you that first off your party doesnt know about that and secondly your party - unless its one made up of friends that you want to tell - doesnt need to know about that or consider that. At least I never wanted any "special" treatment or consideration from strangers in a videogame - either I'm able to do my job or they have every right to dismiss me.
You cant take everything that happens in the game to heart, specially not because such a dismissal doesnt goes against you as a person but against your current performance, that you can work and improve on if you wish to do so.

While I dont agree with van_arns almost rude blutness, I do agree with the general idea behind it: If a person is extremly underperforming and doesnt show signs of taking advice/improving or doesnt react to communication attemtepts at all, they should be dismissed. In your case the whole "trying to communicate"-part seemed to have been missing? Unless someone is obviously trolling, thats something I'd always try before dismissing, so that was handled poorly.

But it could probably be also be handled better on your part - by being upfront about being new to an encounter or job and actually asking for advice or hints, or at least letting everyone know that you're still trying to figure things out. Because if you dont speak up about such things, people will (rightfully) assume that you infact know what you're doing.
If I happen to play melee-dps or a tank-class I'm unfamiliar with, I'll always let my party know that I might be a bit rusty and apologise in advance. If it gets to bad, I'll offer to leave on my own account or switch jobs (if its a PF-party).

[Zephera]

No bad is sadly not a reference, insults on the internet are something the average player has normalized. And every day that passes you keep digging yourselves deeper in the sewers you are all creating. You don't go around insulting because people deserve it, you do it because you can and because there's almost complete impunity when doing so online.

I've heard a lot of people in this thread mention that "people are too sensitive". It's absolutely the other way around. You guys have no business approaching strangers and offering friendly advice in the form of harassment, because that's the only real problem here.

Your post doesn't make much sense, complaining about insults when you accuse others of creating a sewer, calling others too sensitive when you're the one getting upset about the most mild forms of criticism. Very odd.

[Vidu]

No bad is sadly not a reference, insults on the internet are something the average player has normalized. And every day that passes you keep digging yourselves deeper in the sewers you are all creating. You don't go around insulting because people deserve it, you do it because you can and because there's almost complete impunity when doing so online.

I've heard a lot of people in this thread mention that "people are too sensitive". It's absolutely the other way around. You guys have no business approaching strangers and offering friendly advice in the form of harassment, because that's the only real problem here.

So I have no buisness to ask the tank "please use flash", because I'd like my level 70 dungeon to go as nice and smooth as it should with a level 70 tank who apparently never figured out how to use a level 6 skill and how to perform the basics of their job? Me asking that tank to perform such basics is the problem? Not the tank who hasnt learned that in 70 levels?

Sure, the people who just want to enjoy their game and are asking others in a polite and friendly way to do their share of the team work in a dungeon run are the problem - not the people who need to be asked to do the most basic tasks of their job... at level 70... in endgame content...

Telling someone "Please use [skill] it does [this]" is clearly insulting /sarcasm off

[Sigma-Astra]

I've heard a lot of people in this thread mention that "people are too sensitive". It's absolutely the other way around. You guys have no business approaching strangers and offering friendly advice in the form of harassment, because that's the only real problem here.

If you take being called out as a bad player and it's the truth as an insult, you are most definitely more sensitive than the person who called you out as being a terrible player.

If you don't want to be told you're doing a poor job, then run with friends only.

That's the real problem here.

[SerLuke]

So I have no buisness to ask the tank "please use flash", because I'd like my level 70 dungeon to go as nice and smooth as it should with a level 70 tank who apparently never figured out how to use a level 6 skill and how to perform the basics of their job? Me asking that tank to perform such basics is the problem? Not the tank who hasnt learned that in 70 levels?

Sure, the people who just want to enjoy their game and are asking others in a polite and friendly way to do their share of the team work in a dungeon run are the problem - not the people who need to be asked to do the most basic tasks of their job... at level 70... in endgame content...

Telling someone "Please use [skill] it does [this]" is clearly insulting /sarcasm off

I don’t think anyone is opposed to that kind of advice it’s the “LOL this DRK is using grit what a **** player” type “advice” that is soured people.

[SerLuke]

*has soured*

sorry it won’t let me edit on my phone.

[van_arn]

I don’t think anyone is opposed to that kind of advice it’s the “LOL this DRK is using grit what a **** player” type “advice” that is soured people.

This is why I'm such a huge proponent of silently kicking people. Because you can tell a tank "please use flash" and most of the time they'll respond as if you just kicked their favorite puppy, if they respond at all.

They just need to get gone if they don't know to flash at 70, or if they're an autoattacking dragoon, or if they're an icemage.

[Vidu]

I don’t think anyone is opposed to that kind of advice it’s the “LOL this DRK is using grit what a **** player” type “advice” that is soured people.

One would hope so - I've been in enough discussions on this forum and to an extend ingame when I gave advice in exactly that way and people either told me that its rude and toxic to give advice at all if the person hasnt asked for it or got outright mad at me for even implying that they might not be playing perfectly.
When I ask "May I give you some advice?" to be super-polite, I often get meet with silence - which I'm apparently supposed to take as "No", but I'll be damned if I dont tell that tank to use their damn AeO-aggro-skill when mobs are chewing on the healer, myself and the poor melee-dps.

Just implying that someone is doing something wrong is already toxic in some peoples opinion, even if you're "implying" in the nicestes way possible by giving friendly, polite and on-point advice.

I recall a ninja blindly running into the bossroom of the third boss of the vault once, while the tank and healer were still watching the cutscene. Ninja died. I quite literally told the healer "Dont raise him to avoid the weakness, he can teleport back" - which was such an outragoues thing to say that the ninja complained about it for the next two minutes. I didnt comment on him being an idiot for charging into the bossroom, I didnt call him out on that even - I just made a very simple statement and explained why in relation to an ingame-mechanic.

...you'd be surprised how bad advice is recived by a lot of people - the thread I mentioned early? Guy in question needed 20 pages of people telling him what he did wrong and how to do better to finally agree on looking into a guide.

I'm a terribly naive person, so I still try to give advice - and I can hear the heavy sigh of my boyfriend right now who always asks me "Why do you even bother? They wont listen anyways..."
Normally I'm right about stuff. This is the one time he beats me.

[van_arn]

One would hope so - I've been in enough discussions on this forum and to an extend ingame when I gave advice in exactly that way and people either told me that its rude and toxic to give advice at all if the person hasnt asked for it or got outright mad at me for even implying that they might not be playing perfectly.
When I ask "May I give you some advice?" to be super-polite, I often get meet with silence - which I'm apparently supposed to take as "No", but I'll be damned if I dont tell that tank to use their damn AeO-aggro-skill when mobs are chewing on the healer, myself and the poor melee-dps.

Just implying that someone is doing something wrong is already toxic in some peoples opinion, even if you're "implying" in the nicestes way possible by giving friendly, polite and on-point advice.

I recall a ninja blindly running into the bossroom of the third boss of the vault once, while the tank and healer were still watching the cutscene. Ninja died. I quite literally told the healer "Dont raise him to avoid the weakness, he can teleport back" - which was such an outragoues thing to say that the ninja complained about it for the next two minutes. I didnt comment on him being an idiot for charging into the bossroom, I didnt call him out on that even - I just made a very simple statement and explained why in relation to an ingame-mechanic.

...you'd be surprised how bad advice is recived by a lot of people - the thread I mentioned early? Guy in question needed 20 pages of people telling him what he did wrong and how to do better to finally agree on looking into a guide.

I'm a terribly naive person, so I still try to give advice - and I can hear the heavy sigh of my boyfriend right now who always asks me "Why do you even bother? They wont listen anyways..."
Normally I'm right about stuff. This is the one time he beats me.

Yeah, the 300 commendations so he's a pro guy. He'll be back; he changed his name and I sincerely doubt he learned anything from his second go through the forums.

Granted, he was making progress. He was using shield lob only his first time in a normal dungeon, halone combo only his second in Rabinastre, and JUST MAYBE he'll be using royal authority AND a cooldown for his third run-in. IF the Seven will it.