One thing I've learned from playing MOBAs for so many years, is that often the reason a game is toxic, is because of the game itself rather than the players.

In the case of FFXIV, a lot of the higher up encounters will fail you if other players aren't up to par. This is why tools like the parser exist to begin with. It exists to measure your own performance, as well as see if anyone in your party is straggling. I suppose another use that Square probably wouldn't want in their game are the leaderboards. The leaderboards are what enforces the meta, because players, especially in North America, want to have the highest numbers they can get on the 3rd party website to feel good about their play.

I don't know what game you're all playing, but toxicity is all over the game. Go over to Party Finder for the new raid tier, it's full of players who disrespect each other, because the content is designed in such a way that if one player screws up, you very much wipe or are unable to complete the encounter.