How would an optional, official parser be toxic?

[Bourne_Endeavor]

have you ever played WoW? unless you want the FF14 community to turn toxic the last thing this game needs is a dps meter

WoW is not the same game as FFXIV nor does it attract the same players. You also have to consider WoW boasters several million players, thus you're going to see the toxic far more often than in FFXIV. A perfect example of this is when blame say things like "Gilgamesh is full of assholes." Well, yeah, because it once had almost double the population of every other server excluding Balmung and a few others. Of course you're going to see more jerks from Gilgamesh. There's simply more people.

Putting that all aside, you don't think people already toxic by nature act this way regardless? The only difference is you'll be kicked without any reason given or the party abruptly disbands.

You just answered your own question. I'm on PS4 also and I gauge player skill based on mechanic execution and relative ease of combat flow. A dead dps will always do less dps than a decent dps who didn't die the whole fight. Anyone can smack a boss that is just standing around but not everyone can do that while dodging aoes, doing mechanics and still getting in your positional's.

This is decidedly untrue. In fact, I was in a Tsukiyomi EX party a few months ago where I died early into the moon phase. Despite being dead of the floor for at least thirty seconds, I still remained a 1,000 DPS above the Samurai, who was getting out-dps'd by a Bard by nearly 1,500. When the Bard made a remark, the Samurai called her shit and got into a row with me. All the while oblivious we were both leagues ahead of him DPS wise. The irony is for the talks of parse toxicity, the people using a parse were the ones being bullied by someone who thought they were hot shit and clearly not using one themselves.

You can't always base player skill on mechanics. A Warrior can do everything right mechanically but give up massive amounts of DPS if they don't properly time their Inner Release usage. A Monk blowing Tornado Kick constantly without knowing the proper rotation will loss thousands of DPS yet be entirely unaware.