How would an optional, official parser be toxic?

[Shurrikhan]

I agree with you, by and large, there would be no change. People are dicks, they always will be, this will never change. A dick with the power of a parser is going to be a dick regardless of if it is sanctioned by SE or not. My point is that I would much rather have the first alternative, hands down. I know I'm not an A rank tank, I know the numbers. My gear isn't valued at 14,000,000 and doesn't have 5 slots of materia. I mean, for god's sake, my 'main' is white mage....I'm tanking for the tank mounts...I know what I'm doing, but I don't know the finer points of dark knight...of course I'm not going to be putting out 5,000dps...I don't main the =censored= job in order to put the time and effort in to get 5,000dps

At least with the first option you have, I'm publicly shamed by verbal abuse. The other two allies sit on and watch like a circle gathering for a fight. Interesting to watch, but they aren't gonna get involved. The second options not only verbally abuses me, but publicly shames me with numbers as well. Now, the gathering crowd gets to side with the 'facts...' the numbers. Now...instead of potentially getting the griefer kicked for verbal abuse. The other two, are going to look at the numbers, and think 'Yea, he is bad...let's kick him.' Nevermind the fact that tank isn't my main. Forget the fact that I'm playing an off role that I don't often touch that much. Ignore the notion that all my money and gear goes to white mage, not dark night. Let's instead look at the numbers, and assume this is a dark knight main that is bad.

And all because I'm not an elite level, Teir 1, God moding O11S on Day two of release? I'm sorry I didn't learn how to godmode Dark Knight. All I wanted was the tank mounts...I didn't know I had to be an expert in all things tank now.

Also, I still want to know what the hell kind of world Shurrikan and Choir live in...because I guarentee you that is not how the second conversation would go down. Not with a stranger. It would be pretty much like the screenshot I gave in one of my posts, only with numbers generated from a legal parser. The saying 'Do something good, no one notices or cares. Do something bad, and the whole world will know.' comes to mind. If you aren't their expectations of tank/dps/healer, you will hear about it...and it will not be in the peacemaking combiya way you and other seem to like to fluff it.

While we may be in agreement insofar as you mention, I feel like we retain a fundamental disagreement. Or, a few, actually:

1. In my (obviously anecdotal) experience, and that of every friend I've discussed this with (they're probably pretty damn tired of me "taking the forums home with me" at this point), people are just as likely to kick or berate based on suspicion as fact.
   
   
2. No one expects you to be god tier. Because those who feel obliged to improve themselves are the most frequent parsers at the moment, there is a slight bias when considering their own performance towards at least the skill level of those they generally party with. However, they rarely ever apply this to, say, DF, where the expectation is to be "passably competent". Unless you're beneath that, no one's going to take the effort to comment on your performance unless it effort required to make improvement, given the relatively small chance a random person will listen to the unsolicited advice without becoming hostile, is proportionately well less than the benefit obtainable. (In other words, they'd likely mention to you no more than that they can Clemency themselves during Req on AoEs so you can keep Gravity spamming or that you can soak the mobs in water in order to remove their damage resistance buff.)
   
   
3. That "world" is simply one where you often meet people largely like oneself (likely coincidental/perceptual in my case), and tend to form something a community from those likable people and experiences. I offer advice if I'm certain I know something that could be useful and highly suspect that the recipient will be open to that advice. In return, I've learned a lot from others, sometimes just in the course of DF runs (back in the day).
   
   That's not to say that I don't run into princess healers or the occasional troll or tank trying to hold the group hostage, but a third of said healers I've also unmade through gradual challenge and encouragement over the run and most of my groups were fine with just no-tanking the dungeon as a matter of challenge/spite and it's easy enough to ignore a single troll (basically, until there's a pair who can kick you on a whim just before the last boss, which then feels oppressive the whole run by sheer latent threat). Going in as a tank-healer pair, a friend and I have often outperformed the DPS. Sometimes they're receptive to advice, given between GCDs when APM is low; sometimes not. Oftentimes the goal is to at least get them up to our performance, diminishing our own chances in the hidden friendly competition bit by bit until we've failed if we haven't... lost. The conversation model I gave in the second was much more exasperated than most I've run into. You can call it a novel outlook, but it's one that was has happened modeled to me several times since I've started XIV.
   
   I've had my share of unfair kicks, too. Three times now I've been kicked from a run just before the last boss. In only one of them had there even been words exchanged beforehand.
   
   tl;dr: It's the same world, just different circles. ...And arguably the late-night crowds (I'm on usually from 12 to 4 AM for roulettes and the like) do have higher average levels of competence. Not always the most talkative crowd, in so far as any disparate individuals can be considered in average, but, especially when leveling, they're usually a fair and friendly bunch on the whole.

EDIT:

There is one thing I think needs to be involved in any broad parser, though, and I've been pushing for it since ARR: Relative Potency Parsing. Essentially, you strip away the variance given by primary stats, instances of critical strikes or direct hits (using the chance itself as a rPot-modifier, just as with Det), thus squishing gear variance and removing RNG as to provide a clearer picture of performance. If one doesn't have time to run a test tens of times, it's already often used in order to form a clearer comparison between, say, openers (where the actual parsing may be necessary over pure theory-crafting if, say, latency or the resultant clipping will be a factor in the outcome).