please God just call it port

[TouchandFeel]

Sounds like larboard only meant the left side of the ship itself, but the direction left was always port.

Oh boy, etymology time!

Starboard originates from the Old/Middle English word Steorbord which means basically "steer side" because ships at that time were steered with a large oar as a rudder at the back of the ship. Since most people are right-handed, the oar tended to be on the right side at the back of the ship and so the steering side or Steorbord and then starboard became the right side of the ship.

Larboard comes from the Middle English word Ladebord which means "lade" side. Now the root "lade" refers to containers of goods, especially foodstuff and meats as can be seen in other words such as larder. So it is believed that ladebord and later larboard comes from that being the side that the ship pulled up to dock and loaded and unloaded cargo from. Since the rudders were typically on the right side, the ship had to pull up to the dock with it's left side and so larboard became the left side of the ship.

As you referred to, the English Royal Navy later changed it from larboard to portside because larboard and starboard sound too much alike and could cause confusion when being called out on a ship. The word port wasn't really integrated into the English language until a little after and while references to port as a nautical term show up a few centuries before it's official adaption in the 1800's, larboard definitely predates it. Portside means precisely that, the side of the port which as I already explained with larboard is the left side. There is a little debate as to whether the port reference in portside is to the actual port that the ships were docking at or the port, as in door, that was not uncommon on large ships that would open into the hold for the loading and unloading of goods.