How to give advice

[Kaurhz]

Whilst you may be slightly annoyed at the advice or how it was conveyed. I would just take it to heart and use it to get better. I doubt the guy was meaning to be rude, or annoying for that matter, granted he took the effort to link you a guide. Some people may or may not appreciate the advice, but you are playing a game that orients itself around group-based activities. Again, take it as an opportunity to learn. A lot of people in this community would typically be more antagonistic about it, and sadly aggressively so. All I can say is learn to take the advice, and use that advice to avoid more aggressive encounters with people that are frankly both arrogant and nonconstructive with their feedback.

[sakkito]

Tbh. I do agree with OP when it comes to the fact that people should consider the way they offer advice but also on the other side the person receiving the advice needs to consider that mid combat usually nobody takes time to be super polite. Most recent time I have spoken mid combat was 2 days ago in the copparbell dunge when we had undergeared combo of both tank and mch. Tank didn’t flash at all(nor used much of an aggro combo) and single targeted stuff with smn and mch in party. After initial try at communication in English (use flash please so you don’t loose aggro) I used the ‘translate’ buttons and literally typed in ‘flash please’ type. My friend typed in same thing five mins later. Nothing. I ended up spamming medica to tank myself because anything I wouldn’t do I would still end up tanking so I may as well as do it well :P got comms from both tank and the mch o.O. That was one of the weird runs. But yeah I usually don’t hand out advice on rotation or skill use unless it is key element to the fight. If it relates to aggro I am more insistent when I am a healer. Otherwise I usually just move on. More often than on rotation you will find me handing advice on mechanics especially if their badly execution caused us to wipe (but then I usually have plenty of time to explain what happened and what needs to be done and why) or well, if I have a bonus message I ask at the beginning if someone wants me to explain mechanics before each boss. Usually it is a yes’s and those runs are waaay more smooth than the runs with ‘all pro team’. On that note from receiving side I do agree with constructive criticism side. I got advice just yesterday ‘try not to die’ on extreme where everyone involved knew I had no idea what’s going on as I was new. That doesn’t really help me. On that note dear op, I will tell you one of my best duty finder stories. I levelled arcanist with aim of it becoming a scholar. Went on a break came back and then didn’t want to heal so I rolled with summoner until I reached 70. And then I ended up doing 70 roulette and one of the newest dungeons in the mix. I have a really good tendency to type in message in any instance I am not sure of ‘Hi! I am still fresh to the place and the class! Any advice welcome!’. Then I realised that I had another smn in a party. What followed was summoner basically pointing out nuances of a job that I was not doing optimally and thanks to him I shifted my rotation quite a bit . But that took me being open minded and whole party being patient when we stopped for like 30 seconds after a large pull or a boss fight. It was genuinely my best dunge experience up to date

[Nixxe]

As long as they aren't antagonistic in how they express the advice, they've done nothing wrong and you need to be less sensitive.

[Berteaux_Braumegain]

Looking at this thread, I feel glad that I didn't bother saying anything to that WHM in Haukke who was only spamming Cure and Medica the whole dungeon. I would never try to give advice rudely, but people seem to take it personally regardless.

[TaleraRistain]

Unless you've established a mentor-student or teacher-student relationship where said person is actively seeking advice from you, then you should ask if someone wants advice. The reason is because it's important to keep the control in the person's hands. They're a random person in Duty Finder. You and they will probably never meet again. When you say something like "I'm going to school you" you are disregarding any experience the person may have and setting yourself up as the ultimate authority. But that person does not have to see you as an authority.

Someone might try to call it sugarcoating or hand-holding, but that doesn't change the fact that it's essential that the person maintains control over whether they want to seek out advice or not. If they don't, then you may just need to exit yourself from the situation. Or grin and bear it until the end and then leave, having gotten what you came in for.

[Nixxe]

Someone might try to call it sugarcoating or hand-holding, but that doesn't change the fact that it's essential that the person maintains control over whether they want to seek out advice or not. If they don't, then you may just need to exit yourself from the situation. Or grin and bear it until the end and then leave, having gotten what you came in for.

Or kick them for playstyle differences.

[Berethos]

Unless you've established a mentor-student or teacher-student relationship where said person is actively seeking advice from you, then you should ask if someone wants advice. The reason is because it's important to keep the control in the person's hands.

Agreed, especially if you want your advice to be effective and not just a waste of your own typing.

I'm a teacher in real life - there's an art to getting someone to buy into the idea that they should both listen to the knowledge that you're imparting and that it will actually benefit them. Chances are the drive-by advice drop approach is going to be ignored, unless that individual came into the experience wanting you to share your knowledge already.

Seriously - butter-em up a bit with pointing out something they did right, but then tell them that you've got something that will help them even more, and be surgical about it. You might just be surprised at how well that works so that the time you could have spent doing more pressing buttons in combat isn't wasted on typing words. Doesn't take much extra effort either - "So you've got this part of the job down pat, but I noticed this other thing, and if you do x and y you'll really see things come together." Obviously this is for when you have a couple seconds to type it out, and barking out commands in the middle of combat cause whatever they're doing/not doing needs to change yesterday is appropriate for those moments. I wouldn't want anyone here getting their hempen pantalettes in a twist thinking I'm suggesting any command needs to be couched in that approach.

Maybe it's just me, but we seem to be in general so fixated on the "Don't make it easy, make it harder, gotta be tough, school of hard knocks, or it's not legitimate" approach that we generally just suck at actually teaching each other how to get better, and that definitely extends to gaming more often than not.

[XiXiQ]

It's completely pointless to be posting full rotations mid-run - unless you actually expect the person is going to stop, likely adjust their toolbars, get their head around the new stuff with no practice, then be perfect all while you sit about waiting? What? You don't want to sit about waiting for all that? A dose of reality is needed for some.

[JohnSeal]

Can't sympathize. I don't understand the people with your mindset who think they are above criticism and that people need to sugarcoat every little word they say. You already admit you should work on that, so instead of getting upset take the good points and learn from the situation.

Hmmm... I think that everybody need to learn new things, especially if they are not expert player but the way to approach a conversation and try to express a concept MATTERS. Teaching something or give explanations about any topic and for any kind of thing is an ability that not everybody has, you can find people with great knowledge but not able to explain themselves,resume concept or put it in a sentence without sounding annoying. That’s why you need to qualify yourself to be a teacher lol.
We didn’t read the conversation so we don’t know what this person was and how.
People are not suppose to bossy others around anyway, if you want give an advices make it sound like an advice! Start with things like:
hey,would you like an advice? Or...
there is something I would like to share with you. Or...
I would like to give you a suggestion..
Stuff like that.
He admits has to learn better but there is time and opportunity in game o no need to disappoint the OP even more :P

[MomomiMomi]

I think what surprises me the most (actually, no, this shouldn't surprise me) is that the first reaction was to come here and post about this situation, attacking the person who was giving the advice, while ignoring the other side of the problem.

OP could have taken this opportunity to come to the forums and seek the advice that they even admit they're in need of, and I'm sure they would have received said advice.