How to give advice

[JohnSeal]

You can't tell me to have fun or not. You aren't paying my sub.

Oh. This sounds familiar.

I was just giving you a suggestion !! Please don’t take me giving one advice like being disrespectful.
I don’t like to see people sad and get upset that’s all.
After many post of yours my opinion is now that you are not toxic or a bad guys but just upset at the community for many reasons.

[JohnSeal]

I promise I try as well as I can to relay my real feelings in every post I make. If some of them come off condescending it's likely my intent because I feel the expressed views that I am responding to are having or will have a negative impact on the game as a whole.

At the end of the day no one is asking you specifically to give advice. If you aren't comfortable doing that it is totally fine. The conversation is about people who do (at least sometimes) feel capable of giving advice.

The demonization of all advice based on the rude tone that some advice might carry is a problem. It is at the core of "you don't pay my sub" culture; this notion that if someone gives any unsolicited advice at any point they are doing something wrong/mean/hurtful.

Everyone is responsible for their own play just as everyone is able to make decisions about what sorts of play they are willing to surround themselves with. If someone is not going to tolerate dps not aoeing large trash pulls I think suggesting the AoE rotation for that class is vastly preferable to a silent kick. This is just one example but if you look at the big picture there is no harm in teaching people what they need to know in order to play this game at what is considered an acceptable level for the content they are in.

Twelve know that SE sure isn't going to teach anything resembling a proper rotation so they have left it to players.

Edit: In a perfect world none of this would be an issue because people would take the time to.learn about their job and role. That just simply isn't the game we play in. If you think I am going to allow someone else's laziness or incompetence to infringe on my enjoyment of my playtime you have another thing coming.

My bar is not high - I expect basic things like a healer who isn't jumping around doing nothing, a tank that holds threat and mitigates and dps who do more dps than the tank and the healer. If people are meeting those standards there is likely nothing for me to comment on in casual content.

Yes I understand! Your post are thoughtful and may I agree or not I feel their are your honest opinions.
You can be condescending or not that’s totally fine!! You don’t offend or harrass.

I was just making a point on tones and way to say things.

The conception of “you don’t pay my sub “ it’s wrong I agree. I personally never find nobody saying to me.
I rarely give advice because I don’t care really.

Yes I agree with you, your expectations are normal and fair.

[JohnSeal]

^ Like Jijifli said earlier, this is technically criticism, (and not constructive criticism). If going by your own advice, you shouldn\\'t have said this. So you in your own words were just "impolite,rude,unsettling and not appreciate".

By your earlier comments, I think you are getting criticism mixed up with Destructive Criticism, and example of destructive criticism is "Your dps is bad, you should uninstall the game." This is criticism that does not help the person it was given to in any way, shape or form.

Also, your comment sounded really patronizing, I don\\'t know if you know it, but I\\'ll assume that you didn\\'t mean it to be. For example, that "Lol" and dismissing what I said as fiction, could give the impression that you could be laughing at me/my comment. And assuming I only use it criticize others and I can\\'t take criticism /don\\'t criticize myself?
That kind of tone is really going to rub people the wrong way, and in the long run could be damaging to your discussion. People are not going to convert to your way of thinking if they think they are being insulted.


They also discussed in the paper how important neutral tones were in discussions, because accidentally offending someone is not the way you change their minds about something. Neutral tones can help prevent this. Neutral tones also tend to make it easier for people to read and understand a point. So I again, am going to offer my friendly advice to maybe have your tone more neutral, as I think it might help you in the long run. You are welcome to take the advice, or leave it.

Yes I was laughing at what you say.
Constructive criticism are not real, when people criticise others then justified themselves by saying: Oh no, mine was a CONSTRUCTIVE criticism!

I personally think criticise others is just wrong, not welcome and uncalled for!
Advices may be ok,but friendly and written in a nice way. For me this two words are the opposite things!

Anyway I personally try to improve myself in life and in game every day, auto-critic come from recognising our own mistakes. If in a content I made mistakes I recognised and try not to make it again.

Btw I try to express myself clearly and to make who I am talking too what I think and feel. Sometimes I get misunderstood, like earlier I was trying to give a healthy advice to the guy but he didn’t get it.
Sometimes I criticise and something I like to advice. I can be much more sarcastic but so avoid to. I am human not a saint but still I never criticise players in game becuse their level or perform doesn’t matter to me

[Jijifli]

Yes I was laughing at what you say.
Constructive criticism are not real, when people criticise others then justified themselves by saying: Oh no, mine was a CONSTRUCTIVE criticism!

I personally think criticise others is just wrong, not welcome and uncalled for!

But that's literally what you're doing.

And this is actually using "literally" correctly. The blue moon has risen.

[NessaWyvern]

Yes I was laughing at what you say.

Well, that's a bit rude and uncalled for in my opinion, when I was just trying to be serious and helpful.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sometimes I get misunderstood, like earlier I was trying to give a healthy advice to the guy but he didn’t get it.

I know this exact feeling all too well, as it has just happened to me very recently.

[Rymm]

Constructive criticism are not real, when people criticise others then justified themselves by saying: Oh no, mine was a CONSTRUCTIVE criticism!

Debating the merits of criticism (or lack thereof) with you is pointless if you refuse to acknowledge that not only are you using the wrong definition of the word, but you are the only person in the conversation using that particular definition. In doing so, you are willfully misunderstanding everyone who is trying to converse with you. Like I said previously, this kind of behavior makes it impossible communicate in any meaningful way.

[JohnSeal]

But that's literally what you're doing.

And this is actually using "literally" correctly. The blue moon has risen.

Hey I am human, not perfect and sometimes I criticise! I admit it, not lying, sometimes I give advices and others I criticise when I read something I feel like totally unrealistic.
Sometimes I give just a plain opinion.
Still I would never criticise someone for playing poorly.

Btw we should let this thread die lol

[JohnSeal]

Well, that's a bit rude and uncalled for in my opinion, when I was just trying to be serious and helpful.¯\_(ツ)_/¯




I know this exact feeling all too well, as it has just happened to me very recently.

Apologies if you felt offended!

Not condescending or being sarcastic I mean it.

[NessaWyvern]

Apologies if you felt offended!

Not condescending or being sarcastic I mean it.

"Apologies if you felt offended" means little, it's not a true apology. The correct apology someone could make would be "Sorry I offended you" as those kinds of apologies actually accepts the blame to a mistake that someone could be sorry for. The one you made puts the blame on the one you are supposed to be apologizing to.

My husband's first language isn't English either, and he has stated many times that English has certain intricacies that other languages don't have. I have tried to explain some of these, like the one above, and about the different forms of criticism.

[Nixxe]

Arguing semantics with someone who isn't a native speaker and clearly has only a rudimentary understanding of the language, yet feels confident enough to act as though they're an expert, is a truly pointless endeavor. Sometimes it's best to just wash your hands of it and walk away.