I've been reading threads on this topic. Honestly... true friends are friends that will exist beyond the confines of a computer-generated fantasy world. You will have means of communication with these friends even if you don't happen to wind up on the same server after the merge. You will not lose all ties to them, and they will not be forever stricken from your life. Yes, it would be preferable if they were able to transfer along with you to a new server where you could continue your adventuring careers in each others' company, but things aren't always perfect.

For everyone arguing about the "friends" they have that don't pay to play and are waiting until 2.0, and they have no means of contacting them whatsoever to inform them of this server merge.. then honestly, ask yourself how close this friend really is? Your friendship honestly doesn't mean enough to them for them to cough up $10 a month to remain in the game, nor enough to entrust you with a phone number or even an e-mail address, but you are earnestly waiting for them to come back from a year's hiatus and remember who exactly you were and why you're waving and cheering at them with such fervor? And this assuming that their name doesn't change as a result of said server merge for you to even be able to recognize them?

During my time in the Army, I made many friends in many different countries. I didn't have the choice to tell the government that I did not want to move to a new duty station because it would wreck friendships I had made. I simply had to deal with it. Military kids, children who are forced into these situations simply because a parent is, have to adjust and adapt. Many of them handle these scenarios with more courage and maturity than some of the people on these forums do. I am still in contact with some of the friends that I made while I was in the Army, and others I have lost touch with. My world did not come to a screeching halt the moment one of them vanished on me. It's life. Move on.

Step 1) Try to coordinate with your close friends and linkshell mates in game to decide on a server to move to.
Step 2) Exchange contact information with people to ensure that you have the means to stay in touch with friends in the event that you cannot move to the same server, or in the event that the server "fills" before they can choose to move there.
Step 3) Remain in contact with your friends via any form of communication necessary until Version 2.0, at which time another server merge may be sought and try to get into the same server again.
Step 4) If all else fails, remain in contact until an open "World Transfer Service" akin to Final Fantasy XI is implemented which will allow individual people to attempt to consolidate onto one selected server.

It's not hard. If these people are really your friends and really mean that much to you to make such a huge fuss over the whole issue, then they are worth getting contact information from and remaining in contact with throughout this process regardless of where the end result places you.