I am under the mindset that another's player's negligence does not pardon your own. If DPS and healers are not using their enmity dumps, does this make it ok for a tank to remain in DPS stance and not use their enmity tools because you know?... reasons? I am not going to argue that non-tank roles not utilizing their enmity dumps makes for a less optimal party composition. This is indisputable. However, what is also indisputable is while non-tank roles have at most two skills to shave enmity, tanks have several means to build it quickly, and even instantly take it with provoke and ultimatum.

What I am getting at here, are the gripes I hear from tanks and healers when forced to do their role. We can finger point all day at DPS and healers not using their enmity reducers, but if hate is all over the place, trust me, the first person I am going to look at is the tank. Each and every time unless someone is deliberately doing something stupid like spamming medica, which even in PUGs is a rare occurrence from my experience.

In short, just like when I am healing; I am not going to rely on other players to make my job as tanking easier. ESPECIALLY IN PUGs! The issue of the OP is a direct result of him/her trying to push out as much DPS as possible. This is not a bad thing... until you lose agro. When this happens, no one is going to get looked at or questioned more than the tank.

Optimization should always be strived for regardless of content. I truly believe this. However, sometimes optimization only goes as far as adaptation, meaning your own ability to DPS as tank or healer while still performing your role is held back due to the ineptness of your party. It sucks because you know you are capable of much more, but it is not an excuse to forego your primary role whether it be tanking or healing. If you need to hard cast cures, DO IT! If you need to go back into tank stance, DO IT! It really is as simple as that because I am never going to blame a DPS player for wanting to cause more damage. But I will blame a healer or tank with the same desire.