Sexual harassment

[Elamys]

They should have been more cautious. There are a lot of terrible people out there. They also aren't girls at that point.

Dude, you can do everything right and still be attacked or whatever. How often do you see it? Someone commits some kind of horrible crime, they interview the people who knew them, and everyone says that they seemed so nice, very normal, etc. You could lock all your doors and someone picks the lock. You could drill someone on their past and keep yourself really distant from them before becoming friends only to have them lash out at you in some way. You could be sitting at a bar, not known for its violence, minding your own business, celebrating your birthday with your friends, when a fight breaks out and a stray bullet kills you (this happened in my city). I don't like this assumption that everyone who is a victim made some colossally stupid mistake because honestly, it's not true, and it's definitely not that simple.

Or, you could be in what you believed to be a truly loving relationship with another person and send them nudes, something that two consenting adults are allowed to do, only to have them threaten to spread them around because you did something they didn't like.

[Zsolen]

I don't like this assumption that everyone who is a victim made some colossally stupid mistake because honestly, it's not true, and it's definitely not that simple.

I never made that statement. What you think is victim blaming is not that at all. All you care about is forcing people to feel sorry for themselves for the rest of their lives, rather than actually helping them. Then you pretend to be the hero, even though you want to do nothing to actually help them get past it or help prevent future occurrences. If you give someone nudes, you are allowing yourself to be blackmailed.

Which leads me to what the other person said. Believing you can trust someone enough at some point to send them nudes is never a good idea. Ever. Do not even send your spouse nudes of yourself. That is not a smart thing to do.

You can't prevent everything, but blackmail is one of those things you can control to a very large degree.

[Elamys]

I never made that statement. What you think is victim blaming is not that at all. All you care about is forcing people to feel sorry for themselves for the rest of their lives, rather than actually helping them. Then you pretend to be the hero, even though you want to do nothing to actually help them get past it or help prevent future occurrences.

Wow. If that's the impression you got from my posts then I'm not sure that it's even worth discussing this topic with you ever.

Also, please join the year 2018. Sending nudes is neither illegal nor morally wrong. However, distributing nude photographs or videos that somebody has given you as a form of blackmail is both.

In short: There's extremely obvious merit to doing what you can to protect yourself but I'm far more interested in working against the people who actually did something illegal or highly immoral as opposed to the person who didn't. The victim already knows they could have done something different to prevent this, they don't need to hear it over and over and over again. Speaking as somebody who has experienced this, it's 100% not so simple, and I don't know how often people are going to need to repeat this. Abusers do not come at you with fangs, they come at you with smiles.

Again: Just because you can hurt someone doesn't mean you have to.

[Zsolen]

Please, stop putting words in my mouth. I don't think nude pictures are morally wrong. I know they can get people blackmailed. That's why you don't even send it to your spouse. I also never said people only attack with fangs. Why would I think people only attack with fangs, if I warned against sending nudes to people you deem trustworthy?

There is a legal system for a reason. There were many people, myself included, more interested in making sure things are done fairly. Pitchforks are never a good idea, even if the person is clearly guilty.

[Elamys]

Please, stop putting words in my mouth. I don't think nude pictures are morally wrong. I know they can get people blackmailed. That's why you don't even send it to your spouse. I also never said people only attack with fangs. Why would I think people only attack with fangs, if I warned against sending nudes to people you deem trustworthy?

There is a legal system for a reason. There were many people, myself included, more interested in making sure things are done fairly. Pitchforks are never a good idea, even if the person is clearly guilty.

It's not all about you. However, you still seem to be more concerned with somebody doing something that has zero wrong aspects to it than you are with the person actually doing something wrong.

[Zsolen]

It's not all about you. However, you still seem to be more concerned with somebody doing something that has zero wrong aspects to it than you are with the person actually doing something wrong.

When did I say it was about me?

I am concerned about preventing future occurrences, as should we all be. Justice, not revenge, it the way to go about punishing wrongdoers.