Sexual harassment

[QT_Melon]

But yeah, these people are flat out disgusting predators. They feel no remorse, and they will continue to victimize and feed on the vulnerable. People who say "well you shouldn't have shared photos", "block and move on", and "lol drama" without a modicum of sympathy are, for all intents and purposes, victim blamers, and are hardly any better than the abusers themselves. Y'all are genuinely abhorrent specimens of humanity.

To be fair a lot of the crowd only gets some of the information, and doesn't really go in depth in finding out what was going on. I mean that's my frustration with the whole thing. In generalized terms, their advice is okay, but it's like "Remember kids, don't talk to strangers" refusing to think outside the box. A teacher is a stranger too, by that regard...but eventually they become something more - your mentor or advisor. It's harder when it's someone you care about or respect, others respect or care about.

Online interaction has become a big part of our lives, we talk to relatives, and other people now where we wouldn't have if technology hasn't improved to make it easier to do so, and I think thus we need to improve our ways of thinking about those interactions. I get how the internet is an escape and some degree of privacy should be given to us for that...and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I have all the answers either. I just know this isn't some cut and dry or superficial "Jerry's (Springer) final thoughts".

[Zsolen]

It's not hard at all. I've done it plenty of times. Yes, even when I was younger. You don't send a mentor nudes of yourself.

[Miyha]

To be fair a lot of the crowd only gets some of the information, and doesn't really go in depth in finding out what was going on. I mean that's my frustration with the whole thing. In generalized terms, their advice is okay, but it's like "Remember kids, don't talk to strangers" refusing to think outside the box. A teacher is a stranger too, by that regard...but eventually they become something more - your mentor or advisor. It's harder when it's someone you care about or respect, others respect or care about.

Online interaction has become a big part of our lives, we talk to relatives, and other people now where we wouldn't have if technology hasn't improved to make it easier to do so, and I think thus we need to improve our ways of thinking about those interactions. I get how the internet is an escape and some degree of privacy should be given to us for that...and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I have all the answers either. I just know this isn't some cut and dry or superficial "Jerry's (Springer) final thoughts".

I do agree with this, and it frustrates me too that people don't hold their judgement until they have sufficient information, especially on such a sensitive matter. In this case though, it seems like a great deal of the information was laid out in that article, with links to sources, and a lot of these people giving this half-hearted "advice" just didn't read the damn thing. Some people, however, just flat out dismiss the victim and the situation as "drama" and seem to not only display zero sympathy for the victim, but also find the situation humorous. That's not just ignorance, those are people who need something like that to happen to them. Those are the people who need to be made to feel like the garbage they are. Maybe then they'd be able to approach the situation with some real human empathy.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but as someone who has gone through something very similar (luckily I didn't share personal photos, no matter how much my abuser pressured me), this subject is kind of personal, and these people make me physically ill.

It's not hard at all. I've done it plenty of times. Yes, even when I was younger. You don't send a mentor nudes of yourself.

People like this. I think you missed the entire goddamn point of them drawing that comparison. See:

A teacher is a stranger too, by that regard...but eventually they become something more - your mentor or advisor. It's harder when it's someone you care about or respect, others respect or care about.

Since it seems like I have to explain the basic process of forming human connections with another human: the teacher to mentor comparison was meant to illustrate how people can grow from a stranger to someone more. How a person can earn someone's trust and respect. It's even harder not to give in to someone you trust and care even deeper about and would do absolutely anything to prevent them from abandoning you. They're not talking about sending nudes to a damn mentor. They're talking about appeasing the person you've centered your world around.

Now, you and your small mind are probably thinking, "Lol, well don't make someone the center of your world like that."

Tell that to someone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, loneliness, and a whole host of other issues and develop a need to have some kind of anchor to support them. When a person like that is in danger of losing their anchor, they will do anything to keep them around. I know I would have, which is why it's a wonder how I didn't end up caving into the pressure I endured to send explicit photos. See my previous posts for a more elaborate explanation (though it seems you lack reading comprehension skills, so I'm not sure what good that will do).

If you don't know what something like that feels like, good for you. You haven't had to deal with the trauma victims of this kind of a abuse had to endure to demolish their self-esteem to that point. But if you can't say anything outside of "lol it's not that hard"? Get out of this damn discussion. Without basic human sympathy, your opinions on the matter aren't relevant.

Forget about yourselves for a moment... how you'd respond in a situation like this doesn't matter... if you're strong and aware and stable enough to protect yourself good for you... think instead of the weak, damaged, lost, lonely, and those of not sound mind and reason... what kind of community are we if we are so willing to cast aside those who can't help themselves simply because we don't have those same weaknesses?

Based on the flaming pile of garbage I've seen some people spew in this thread, I don't think some people are capable of empathizing with those who have suffered in that way. They're incapable of thinking beyond their narrow views of the world and understanding human emotion and mental health and how it can play into the actions a person takes. It's for this reason I am so adamant about making it known that as a victim myself, I will stand up to their ignorance and that they do not make up the majority of our community. I want to be proof of that.

[polyphonica]

I don't think some people are capable of empathizing with those who have suffered in that way. They're incapable of thinking beyond their narrow views of the world and understanding human emotion and mental health and how it can play into the actions a person takes.

Honestly, for a lot of people, I don't think they treat the interactions they have online as if they were dealing with real people. Besides this thread, you also see it all over social media. It's as if they're talking only to avatars/personas controlled by other people, rather than to the person themselves. Of course, literally in this game, you're controlling an avatar, but unless you're 100% RP all the time, the interactions you have are still with real people, and those people can still have real personalities, struggles, issues, etc. If we were all in the same room, there are tons of social and emotional cues that help most people understand the right and wrong ways to interact with someone who's distressed (or at least help you to understand when it's not the right time or you don't have the right social context/relationship to lecture someone for their mistakes); people who interact in inappropriate ways in public are typically shunned or shamed. But online, it's as though all the social and emotional cues are gone or only exist as a way to manipulate others.

I suspect it'll probably be at least another generation or two before society as a whole develops the social norms to combine anonymity with empathy. Right now, I think too many people are, at some level, still enamored with the idea that anonymity is a sort of freedom from human empathy -- that it means they "no longer need to pretend to care" and can just "tell it as it is" without consequence. Ultimately, though, society is founded on a concept of civility, and the internet itself has become a key part of our society; our children or our children's children will probably have to make up for what our generation lacks.