Quote Originally Posted by MoroMurasaki View Post
Support and criticism are not mutually exclusive, in fact I would say the best support is almost always accompanied by some constructive criticism.
Something we all seem to agree on?

Quote Originally Posted by Alleo View Post
You dont need to sugarcoat anything, you simply just need to be there for them and if that all is over, you can still talk about the mistakes. But imo not when the person is already at their worst place.
Alleo didn't say not to criticize, nor did they say to neglect retrospection. They're stressing the need to take into consideration the timing.

Quote Originally Posted by Moro again
You seem to have this misconception that a victim of abuse accepting responsibility for their own safety somehow also adds blame to them or lessens the burden of blame on the abuser. The abuser is still 100% to blame for the abuse, it would not happen without them. Asking the victim to examine their actions and understand mistakes that they made does not mean you don't understand that.
But is the victim in a state of mind where they can understand that? Or is it too soon in their healing progress, that it will be taken the wrong way? That's also something to take into consideration that doesn't negate either approach.

they don't understand that they've done something wrong
Assumption. Again, subjective depending on case. You're generalizing. Not all victims will be blind to their own mistakes and need someone on the outside to enlighten them.