I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Probably the example I find most illustrative is Glamours. The system in FFXI arguably works better than the one in FFXIV, without any of the gear restrictions, Prism costs, etc. This, despite work beginning on FFXI roughly two decades ago, at a time when nobody was thinking about Glamouring in an MMO. That's astonishing, and it makes it very difficult to see FFXIV go years and years without a fully functional system itself.
It's quite possible there are good reasons for all of these things. Maybe SE is sinking the money into a big back-end adjustment to align with the next expansion. Maybe they're making efforts with an eye toward features that no other MMO is offering, and it's taking them longer than adjustments that would allow FFXIV to merely keep pace. I don't know - because there's no transparency. All we hear is that there are limitations here, limitations there, and yet... other MMOs, including XIV's predecessor, somehow solve the problems. It's hard to stomach.
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As to the original topic, I would say that SE seems less out of touch, and more like they're actively and intentionally ignoring us. I get the distinct impression that SE's 'limitations' excuses arise from a lack of motivation more than a lack of capability (though it's entirely possible it's both). I think they're quite content with their position in the MMO market, milking the FF franchise name to a second-place finish with a simple, predictable, easily-maintained F2P-style experience.

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