Unwritten Rules of XIV (Fun/Humor)

[Maeka]

After some time of playing FFXIV, there are things I like to poke a little humor at when it comes to the game and its various mechanics, and even just pure happenstance that seem to happen a little too often to feel like flukes.

Here are some of my personal unwritten rules of FFXIV:

1). The Queue Wait Time is almost always 50% more than what it originally tells you. 10 minutes? Nah, it's gonna be at least 15.

2). The % Chance is almost always the opposite of what it tells you if it would benefit you. The opposite if it is against you. 70% chance of success? More like 30%. 90% chance of success? You can almost guarantee that you will see several fails, usually consecutively, at some point. Don't worry, though, because every now and then the game will take pity on you and give you 2-3 successes in a row when you only had a 10% chance in some attempt to make you forget about all of those ridiculous fails.

3). Anytime you roll higher than a 50, it's only after someone else rolled a 95+.

4). Qing up for PotD as DPS? You're either gonna get 4x DPS or 3x combination of healers/tanks. Almost never anything in-between. Your run will either be dangerous, and one unlucky turn is a wipe, or it will take absolutely forever to clear.

5). Gelmorran Potsherds don't exist, unless a group member happens to receive one and oftentimes it will be more than one in a single run.

Anybody else got any other unwritten rules?

[Magar]

Somebody will always be late to The Hunt, and then complain that we didn't wait long enough. This is especially true around the 10 minute mark.

[Warghoul570]

This is mainly for PoTD: just because a rdm CAN heal doesn’t mean it’s their responsibility TO heal

[Sylvain]

When your melee pop lb3 at 10% you can be sure something wrong will happen at before your team can finish off the last 3% resulting in a wipe/ enrage.

On the other hand everytime you hold it until the very last minute not only no one fail but melee entirely forget to use it. (this si where I do lb3 heal)

As a side. It note any lb3 heal will result in the death of the healer.

[dejiko_san]

If you're a Lalafell, people either love you or hate your guts. There is no in-between.

If you're a DRG and you fall off the platform, you'll win the loot drop at the end.

^^

[Maeka]

This is mainly for PoTD: just because a rdm CAN heal doesn’t mean it’s their responsibility TO heal

I beg to differ on this.

Everybody has a responsibility to use anything and everything in their repertoire to ensure the success of their group.

As a RDM, if there are no healers in the group, it falls upon me to prevent people from dying. If I'm too busy DPSing and I let people die and we wipe, then it is directly my fault because I chose not to use tools I had and I could have prevented such a wipe from occurring (or could have at least attempted to prevent).

[Nariel]

The pick-up guy always get the loot.

[MoroMurasaki]

The more you die to your own stupidity the higher your rolls (particularly on rare or valuable items) will be.

[miraidensetsu]

1) If you manage to keep that tank who refuses to pop cooldowns or tank stance and is undergeared alive the entire dungeon, you get no comm. But if you're that tank, you're triple comm'ed.

2) The pony is reserved for the worst player.

3) If you aren't a female Miqo'te or a female Au ra, you're minority and thus S-E don't like you. And if you're a male Lalafell, the community also hates you or wants to use you as food.

4) Healer dies at dungeon = wipe. Even when there is a SMN and/or a RDM alive. Exception only when the boss can be killed before the last regen tick.

5) If you have 99% chance of hitting something, you'll miss way more than 1% of the times.

[AzazelCaine]

-That one time you manage to actually roll a 98, you can be assured the player that was dead on the arena floor the entire fight rolled a 99.