Unwritten Rules of XIV (Fun/Humor)

[Myrhn]

PF with "Clear for a "friend"" will result in half to 1hr of your life waste to wipes.

[Ntol]

Benediction´s description should read: Kill your target, wasting a full heal on yourself. (I swear I always, without exception, use it just the exact microsecond my target dies).

If a boss has an ability that targets a random party member and you are the one that is doing the mechanic wrong, guess who is being targeted?

The chances of a queue popping while you need to go afk increase by each minute you have been waiting.

The chances of a queue popping are 100% when you decide to quit it and are telling your friends about it.

[RezWolf]

leveling roulette is 95% of one of the following in order (most common to least common): Totorak, Tam Tara, Ifrit (Story), The Vault, Titan (Story), Garuda (Story).

[Eloah]

That piece of loot you've been looking for for 2 odd patches will drop one day, but when that day hits, you wont be playing the job that can need it, and the player on that job will need it, dangling it in front of you like a carrot on a string. T.T

[Vaer]

When you just need 1 more item from an unspoiled gathering node at 95% hit rate you will probably miss.

SE pls

[Rhus]

As a Black Mage, you do not get told about the "Homing" skill hidden to "Ley Lines". Basically, place them at your own peril as once you do, any and all AOE will befall that very spot.
Even bosses with no AOE will suddenly develop a gliched AOE ability just to target your Ley Lines such is the power of the AOE Magnet hidden within Ley Lines.

[Pyro2hell3]

If you are in a a group with me and are pugging a healer there's 98% percent chance the healer we get will be so bad its be the same as or actually worse then having not having that person be there at all

[miraidensetsu]

PotD ones:

- You'll always get the pomander you don't need (for example, Flight on floor 1-10 or those who activates only on the next floor at the x9th floor)
- Mimics happen. Often.
- Even when you're hugging the wall, you will always end up stepping on one trap if you're doing well. And if you're soloing, that trap will put an end to your run (for example, that trap will be a luring one that will bring 3 slimes at floor 10-20).
- Every kill will always take more time than expected. And surely you will know by the worst way that 60 minutes is way too little time

[Stormfur]

- Pomanders of alteration have a 99% chance to become mimics instead of pygmalois.
- That 40% chance you have to retrieve that high-grade materia is more like 4%.

[Mixt]

That last S-rank you are hunting for the achivement you get for killing all hunt marks at least once will always spawn and be killed while you either A) Sleeping B) In the shower C) Eating dinner or D) Looking away for half a minute to check the forums..