Of course they deserve ridicule: their back-end is atrociously designed, and they routinely build mechanisms that butt heads with their known limitations.
One go-to example of this is Housing. They built an exceedingly complex system that, while great, was unsupportable by their servers for years. Housing availability issues still aren't completely resolved! The feature was arguably better-implemented in fucking FFXI, this game's predecessor. No technical arguments can excuse them from this, because they built the gods-damned system in the first place. They knew their server limitations, or should have, and they built the system anyway. That's inexcusable.
Another go-to example is Glamours. Not just WoW does Glamours better: so do most other MMOs. Fuck, so does FFXI, this game's predecessor. How is SE's shoddy implementation - one that, despite years of time, still isn't completely fixed - something worth excusing?
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I haven't played any other games before in which the developers routinely cited server limitations as reasons to not develop certain QoL features. I find it hard not to fault SE as a result, particularly when some of the things being held up by the oh-so-limited servers were done back in FFXI - and work better to boot. Learning from past experiences is about the lowest possible bar to set, and it appears XIV's team hasn't even consistently met this.
I'd also point out that FFXIV, by all appearances, aspires to dethrone WoW as the king of MMOs. It's clearly intended to be widely accessible; it's routine to encounter advertisements for the game; the development team behind ARR actively cited WoW as a founding influence. With that comes a certain burden of expectations: you can't be the new king until you beat the current one. Part of that means figuring out how to match Blizzard's clearly-superior QoL efforts, rather than making excuses for why doing so is hard. Or you can rest on your laurels, which is clearly what the content development teams are doing; maybe that's the long-term intent for FFXIV. It'll never topple WoW like that, and will likely see its subscriber numbers drop off a cliff at some point, but that's their choice to make. On the assumption that SE isn't intentionally resting on its laurels, though, they deserve to be challenged to do better, rather than complaining about how something is hard or requires significant technical work. Blizzard did it, so SE can too. Suck it up, get it done.
Edit / Addition:
EVE Online is quite unique. It is wholly distinct from WoW and FFXIV, but WoW and XIV are not wholly distinct from each other (they're close to siblings in many ways).
The single-shard universe is also not something that could be applied to XIV and WoW in their current states, regardless of technical limitations: Eorzea would simply become too crowded. EVE Online features procedurally generated content, which space lends itself well to. FFXIV and WoW do not. As a result, they have far smaller game worlds for people to inhabit, and are forced to limit population numbers. I seriously doubt that Blizzard wouldn't be able to replicate EVE Online's single-shard experience if they built a game around that, but WoW isn't it - and nor is FFXIV.

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