[Suggestion] Make "remove from friends list" 2-way

[MOZZYSTAR]

A few months back, I removed some people from my friends' list but I discovered I was still on their friends' list as they were able to send me moogle mail (to which I couldn't reply to because they weren't on my friends' list). My suggestion would be to make the removal of a friend two-way, as in... if you remove a friend from your list, you'd automatically be removed from their list as well. Yes, you could block them but sometimes these things aren't enough to warrant a block.

SE needs to do something about this.
Especially if you consider that the new companion app will sync with the player's friendlist.

Quoting this because it's especially relevant with how SE is trying to evolve the social aspects of FFXIV.


Some other/similar issues

The friendlist-removal isn't the only thing that is only 1-way.
When you are married and then divorce, then your ex is still considered being married with you, he can even teleport to you with the ring.
Got divorced from my ex 1-way, then after a year my ex came back and used the ring to teleport to me.

And if a "New Adventurer" has removed and blacklisted someone, but that someone has an Aetheryte Pendulum, it can still be used to teleport to the aetherite nearest the new player's current location for free.

People not on your friends list but have you on their friends list can...
• Teleport to any estate you're associated with (personal, FC, apartment)
• Moogle mail you
• Teleport to the nearest aetheryte to you if you're a new adventurer
It's not mutual because you don't have them on your list so you are unable to do the above in return.

(FYI, all of the concerns pertaining to this issue voiced here are relevant.)

[Enla]

Had a similar incident after someone I thought was my friend turned the creep factor up to eleven and I removed and blocked them for their behavior. The second I had the courage to clear out my block list and change the name of that character a year later I got an instant message from that person, making me decide to shelve the character once more rather than allow that person to track me unhindered. If I remove someone or even block them, I shouldn't be on their friendslist anymore.

[KisaiTenshi]

A few months back, I removed some people from my friends' list but I discovered I was still on their friends' list as they were able to send me moogle mail (to which I couldn't reply to because they weren't on my friends' list). My suggestion would be to make the removal of a friend two-way, as in... if you remove a friend from your list, you'd automatically be removed from their list as well. Yes, you could block them but sometimes these things aren't enough to warrant a block.

I get the sneaking suspicion that Cactaur server has become the drama server. Just look what happened in that 4K dps thread.

Had a similar incident after someone I thought was my friend turned the creep factor up to eleven and I removed and blocked them for their behavior. The second I had the courage to clear out my block list and change the name of that character a year later I got an instant message from that person, making me decide to shelve the character once more rather than allow that person to track me unhindered. If I remove someone or even block them, I shouldn't be on their friendslist anymore.

I'm sorry to say this, but the only way you get away from that is by deleting the character. The Lodestone id's are the same even if you rename. More to the point the game's own internal data consistency never changes the ID either. So you might try to hide by renaming your character, but as long as people use third party tools, you're not hidden at all. If you want to get away from drama, you absolutely have to delete the character. But even that will not get you away from the drama if you've posted even once on the forum.

Click on anyone's name on the forum, and it will show you what other characters they have. And then there is also things like Reddit and Discord that you can't hide from either. So I don't know what nonsense took place on Cactaur to warrant people asking for this, but the internet does not forget.

It seems like the latest few threads about wanting to block users from playing, from being seen, and from being messaged inside and outside the game pointing to some drama that the rest of the forum wasn't a party to, but someone is bringing it to the forum to try and get SE to change how the game works just to fix something that people should talk it out over.

[MOZZYSTAR]

I get the sneaking suspicion that Cactaur server has become the drama server. Just look what happened in that 4K dps thread.

Hate to point it out, but a.) that comment is not constructive in the slightest and completely uncalled for. You should not generalise an entire group of people based on two things you've seen. I would say this is stirring up more drama than my own comment. b.) 4k DPS thread is irrelevant to this one (personally not following it, don't care about it), c.) my own comment wasn't meant to be dramatic as I have no issues with the people I removed from my list. I just wasn't fond of the fact they could still moogle mail me when I can't moogle mail them. d.) I hail from Jenova, my friend.

Please don't blow things out of context and make assumptions. Thanks.


Edit:

Only wondering. You guys are talking about one sided deleting, so doesnt the another person even know that some of you guys are offended/creeped out in anyway. Did you say even *Sorry, but i gonna block you or not going to be friends anymore* or is it more like * didnt like what you said and just deleted/blocked* without even saying it. Some people didnt know they did anything wrong so for some they see a old friend again.

I'm not entirely sure what you're saying... If you're asking if someone is notified whether or not they were removed from your friend's list or added to block, then no they're not unless they're sharing a house together and they happen to be online. It shows up as something "X is no longer sharing a house with you," etc. (But even then, that doesn't necessarily mean they unfriended you.)

As for the latter... I would say it depends on the person. For me, I just remove people I no longer regularly game/dungeon/raid with, et cetera. No falling outs, just naturally drifted apart. I don't see the point of keeping them on my friends' list if we don't game together. I don't notify them (and they likely didn't notify me).

I don't think I can comment on your experience, other than I think it's fairly common that people stop associating with each other after they change FCs (which is a shame. :/ Tried to make it work out plenty of times before myself, but to no avail).

[Rockette]

I dunno. This "feature" has helped me out a few times. I've had FC members fall out with the FC, name change, then attempt to get back in to troll or stir drama in other linkshells. Since they don't get removed from friends list I can see that it's obviously someone I know, then its not hard to figure out.

I can see both sides to this discussion because of that.

[KisaiTenshi]

Hate to point it out, but a.) that comment is not constructive in the slightest and completely uncalled for. You should not generalise an entire group of people based on two things you've seen. I would say this is stirring up more drama than my own comment. b.) 4k DPS thread is irrelevant to this one (personally not following it, don't care about it), c.) my own comment wasn't meant to be dramatic as I have no issues with the people I removed from my list. I just wasn't fond of the fact they could still moogle mail me when I can't moogle mail them. d.) I hail from Jenova, my friend.

Please don't blow things out of context and make assumptions. Thanks.

Ahem. Virtually every drama-generating post on the forum has been created by someone, often the same person, on Cactaur, and the same three or so people who also play on Cactaur fuel those threads by harassing everyone who comes to those threads. So no, it's not a generalization, they are literately disrupting the entire English forum over petty raider nonsense. So your thread was ill timed because it was posted just three minutes before some drama exploded (that thread is now 26 pages.)

Anyway, as I said on the other half of my comment. The game internally tracks id's and the ids do not change even after the server reboots or is patched, because the lodestone id's do not change. Removing someone from the friendslist, mutually friend removal should only be done if the removal is done with a harassment report, because that is the only justification for it. Other people just clean up their friends list because people haven't logged in quite a while and/or know they quit, but wouldn't mind seeing them again.

Like seriously, if SE wants to improve the friends list at all, put a "archived" tab into the friend list, and anyone who hasn't logged in in 30 days gets moved there automatically. Likewise if someone has unsubscribed, move them there automatically. Then once players are moved to the archive page, it's the same as not being on the friend list, and the game doesn't ping it except when you look at the archived list, but you can add them back to the active friend list at any time.

It's not what you're asking for, but would remove some awkward situations where people were removed due to clean up, not drama, but people will always think they did something to get deleted. When I played a different game, I had to clean up friendslists daily by the dozens because popularity comes at a price. Who do you delete? Those people you delete will think you're being a jerk to them (even if they haven't logged in months), those people who you don't add, think you're being stuck-up, etc.

[KaivaC]

Ahem. Virtually every drama-generating post on the forum has been created by someone, often the same person, on Cactaur, and the same three or so people who also play on Cactaur fuel those threads by harassing everyone who comes to those threads. So no, it's not a generalization, they are literately disrupting the entire English forum over petty raider nonsense. So your thread was ill timed because it was posted just three minutes before some drama exploded (that thread is now 26 pages.)

You know what, might as well go on ahead and respond to this as well before I log off. This is one of the most ignorant things in a long line of ignorant things to ever be typed by your fingers. Most drama comes from Cactuar? And then you cited my thread, which was created in a manner in which I said the wrong things. News flash: for the longest time, I was on Siren. It has nothing to do with a particular server – you just tend to come off on the forums as a particularly unlikable individual.

It certainly wouldn't be fair if folks started saying that Excalibur produced the biggest snowflakes in existence, now would it? Not that I'm calling you the biggest snowflake around, I mean, that would just be disrespectful, yes? So quit saying flat out ignorant statements that have nothing to do with a server. And harassment? Kisai, nobody cares enough to even think about harassing you – you get called out for the flat out ignorance that litters 90% of your posts. Unless of course, being challenged repeatedly for incorrect statements is your definition of harassment. In which case, I have to ask: if you truly felt harassed, why do you keep throwing yourself head-first into traffic to invite it? Curious.

Your bias against Cactuar is starting to show, and bias is a very, very ugly thing.

You may respond, but you aren’t worth the effort of a reply. That is, assuming that you don't spam that report button because you don't like debates or counter-arguments...or in your language: "harassment", with emphasis on quotation.

[Tridus]

/sign

Since being added to a friend list requires consent, revoking that consent should remove you from the list.

Now then...

Ahem. Virtually every drama-generating post on the forum has been created by someone, often the same person, on Cactaur, and the same three or so people who also play on Cactaur fuel those threads by harassing everyone who comes to those threads. So no, it's not a generalization, they are literately disrupting the entire English forum over petty raider nonsense. So your thread was ill timed because it was posted just three minutes before some drama exploded (that thread is now 26 pages.)

It's convenient how you ignore all the drama created by you showing up in perfectly harmless threads and firing off incendiary posts, then acting as if it's someone elses fault when you get called on it. Like this thread, where there was no drama whatsoever until you created it. Or the numerous ones where you show up in a perfectly calm thread and start ranting and raving about parsers.

You have a bright future ahead of you as a politician, where every thing you do is really the fault of the mean old Cactuar elites in their secret club house trying to put the common poster down with their parsers and their "fix lilies" suggestions.

[Enla]

I'm sorry to say this, but the only way you get away from that is by deleting the character. The Lodestone id's are the same even if you rename. More to the point the game's own internal data consistency never changes the ID either. So you might try to hide by renaming your character, but as long as people use third party tools, you're not hidden at all. If you want to get away from drama, you absolutely have to delete the character. But even that will not get you away from the drama if you've posted even once on the forum.

Honestly why I'm on this character as of now. The other character has only been touched a handful of times since then, mostly to help move money around or warm an FC for a friend, and thankfully I had no record of posting on this forum when all that happened either. As far as I can tell from the silence, it seems to have worked.

I said the first things because some peeps said being creeped out. So if that is one sided, 1 party still think in a friendly way.

I totally agree with you on the rest.

Without going into extremely painful territory, they were aware and asked to stop before they were blocked. I do not block former friends without reason, and definitely do not freak out over being contacted by them a second time months later when they should have moved on almost immediately after being unblocked. When I say creeped out, I mean to the levels of things that are not forum safe being discussed as well. I understand where you are coming from but I can only wish it was that cut and dry. Now that so much time has passed I can only use it as an example going forward, because it was my mistake to unblock them and expect nothing to happen, and pray that it doesn't happen again.

[Theodric]

I transferred from Balmung to Cerberus for roughly five months. The servers are on completely different Datacentres. When I transferred back to Balmung I was shocked to find out that I was still on some people's friend lists. I simply showed up as 'Unable to Retrieve' during my absence but as soon as I returned everything was back in place. Given that one of my reasons for my break was due to not wanting any communication with certain players it was a rather unpleasant experience.