(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[RiyahArp]

Then why do the same people care about being kicked from raids when they underperform and are not needed therefore they get removed and replaced?

If you don't care about your performance, you shouldn't care about being kicked either. This is an MMO, raids are a team effort, if one refuses to learn, that's fine, get out of the party.

well, being kicked for any reason isn't fun, and people have to process that. I'd argue people who play for fun over time just ignore savage, because it isn't fun at all, its so srs business.

[Crystal_Raven]

well, being kicked for any reason isn't fun, and people have to process that. I'd argue people who play for fun over time just ignore savage, because it isn't fun at all, its so srs business.

You'd be surprised how many terrible players try to step in savage. I always ask them why are they here when their performance is not good enough for extreme, let alone savage. The response is almost always "because i want to", which is OK, if you're going to drag the party down and make the rest of us pick up your slack, i will not hesitate to remove that person from the party. It's always fun to see who the party considers is more needed, a good healer, or a subpar DPS with a mouth on him that's holding everyone back.

Tip: It's never going to be the healer that gets kicked.

[NanaWiloh]

I play tennis at a fairly competitive level (USTA 4.5) and I regularly get unsolicited advice from random people watching my matches, my opponent, or anyone in between.

It's called people sharing a hobby (in my case tennis). Giving advice is something people do in these situations. Gaming is 100% no different. We all share the hobby and there will always be someone who knows more than you so no matter how awful advice is presented be an adult and accept it with grace and weigh it's accuracy/relevancy. That skill will serve you infinitely more IRL than learning to rage because someone said something negative about you.

I once played a guy who was clearly a scumbag 5.0 sandbagging (nearly undefeated in the 4.5 division) and after he whooped my ass literally free, he had a few tips. He didn't hold my hand and say it's ok baby here's what you do, he said, your running forehand is a big weak spot in your game. Either get set earlier or develop that tool so it doesn't get abused so easily and walked off the court.

I learned a pretty filthy defensive forehand shot that has won me a ton of points since then. The bottom line here is that if someone offers you unsolicited advice you are the one who chooses your reaction, not them. Do you act like a petulant child or an adult?

Same can be said for Advice givers, when your advice is rejected or unused how you behave followng that speaks loads. Do you act like an adult and move on or like child and throw a fit.

[StarRosie]

The bottom line here is that if someone offers you unsolicited advice you are the one who chooses your reaction, not them. Do you act like a petulant child or an adult?

I know I'm gonna regret jumping into this debate but, there is another facet to this. These people are not required or obligated to listen or take said unsolicited advice and they can easily and politely turn the advice down. I've had people I try to help as a mentor politely turn my advice down and ask to be allowed to learn at their own pace. At that point, it became my choice on how I choose to react, and I choose to act respectfully of their wishes and move on.

Everyone is different, plays for different reasons and overall has different priorities. There will always be bad players beyond help, who work to do the bare minimum and nothing but. There will always be folks who struggle even when given helpful advice. There will always be jerks who snap at you but there will also be folks who are respectful too. I find it for more rewarding and a better use of my energy, to focus on those who are respectful and want to be helped, then get angry over those who don't want to be help and decide to scream at me for trying to help. We can't save everyone.

I also think it is a mentality thing, I think we focus so much on those who screech at us for trying to help that it skews our perception of how many actually do. I find when I look at the numbers, there are far more people who have either listened to my advice or explanations, then there have been folks who screamed at me for trying to help. It's like when you go through a road with a lot of traffic lights, you focus more on the times you get all reds then when you get all greens because all red gets you angry and it has a bigger impact on you then the passive and nice all green moments. If that makes any sense.

I guess what I’m trying to say in the end is, don’t give the folks who yell at you for trying to help the time of day in your mind. It’s not worth it and hurts in the long run, I know that sounds over simplified but, it’s not. Just, don’t give jerks the time of day and remember the cool folks who are respectful.

Anyways, that’s about it from me. Back to my lurker cave!

[MrPresident]

*Embraces being a grouchy old man*

It's because people are too sensitive these days. Everything is always an "attack" even if it's just a mild suggestion. I used to try like you too, don't bother now though. I just suffer through.

[Linx0r]

I play tennis at a fairly competitive level (USTA 4.5) and I regularly get unsolicited advice from random people watching my matches, my opponent, or anyone in between.

It's called people sharing a hobby (in my case tennis). Giving advice is something people do in these situations. Gaming is 100% no different....

Yes it is. You were playing against an opponent. We play as a team. If you are playing on a team and competitive by all means, throw the advice. But, I hardly believe a dungeon to be classified as competitive. Like I said before, it depends on the situation. If you are in a static group, by all means teach. If you are running a dungeon with randoms you may want to ask before you start preaching.

[Noshpan]

I've stopped offering suggestions on how to progress through whatever long ago. People just don't care. It's less hassle to stay silent and let them continue to be stupid.

[Nihility]

It's the world social media has created.
It's so easy to just get into an echo chamber of being told how right you are about everything that there is absolutely no tolerance built up for being told how you can improve and even the smallest tips get taken like direct attacks

even have a couple people like that in my FC, get vote kicked out of things all the time but it's everyone else in the world at fault

[Super_Bee_Brian]

OP, the reason why people don't appreciate your advice is because you're a lalafell. Lalafell are just kids.

If you really wanted to be taken seriously, you must be a Roegadyn.

[Ruf]

OP, the reason why people don't appreciate your advice is because you're a lalafell. Lalafell are just kids.

If you really wanted to be taken seriously, you must be a Roegadyn.

I think this is ignorance.