Anxiety over Savage

[Omegaher0]

Sorry, but I need to vent.

I have been playing since a year after ARR, and for the most part, love the game. I can clear MOST content with a little practice, except Savages. I just can't do them. I just can't keep up with it. Yes, I know it's just repetition and knowing the fight, but when you have to have perfect timing while a bunch of things are going off at the same time, and you have to stand in one spot while doing thing unless this is happening, then you go there.... I can't do it. My brain gets fried and I panic.

My issue is that I suffer from anxiety (in high pressure situations) and depression, especially right now, due to recent family events. Normally, this doesn't bother me in-game much. I can usually muddle through an EX with little problem. But when I go into a savage, I get quiet and nervous. I have serious trouble keeping up with the mechanics. And when I die (which usually snowballs into the raid wiping), my anxiety skyrockets. I start shaking.

I have an awesome FC, but they don't know how bad I get in raids. And yes, when I die and get frustrated, they say it's okay, just keep practicing. They cheer me on. But all I hear in my head is "You're a failure!", "Why do you get screwing up?", "Why are you stupid?" I can't take it. Hell, when they ask if I wanna try it again, I get scared, and sadly, rather blunt with my refusals (if anyone from my FC reads this, I'm sorry for my bluntness).

So I stay away from Savages. I can do all the other content, I can deal with trolls and bad parties and horrid healers (I main both DRK and MNK). But Savages just scare the hell out of me. And I am fine with that. I'm fine with never seeing God Kefka or Neo Ex-Death or ever getting any Ultimate Bahamut Gold Weapons, or even clearing any Final Coils (yes, I haven't cleared ANY of those).

Way back, I wanted to be the best tank or Monk. The one that you hear people talk about, that can survive anything, can down anything. But now, I'll just be happy with people not hating me.

[MuseTraveller]

And that's okay. Savage is just not for you. You shouldn't feel bad for stepping down but I think you should tell your friends/static and they should understand. Maybe some day you will feel brave and confident and try it again but for now, if it stresses you, please drop it for the sake of your own health. At the end, this is a game and it should be fun, not stressful.

Stepping down or admitting you can't handle certain situation isn't failing, it's being responsible towards your own self.

[Brynne]

Oh man, I can sympathize so hard with you. I'm also in treatment for depression and anxiety, and I've used FFXIV as a coping mechanism in many ways; it keeps me busy and engaged when I'm in a funk. I still have minor anxiety around roulettes and playing with other people, even the friendly ones in my own FC who I chat with on discord. I don't want to disappoint anyone, especially the people I like and admire. And I know I'm not the best player - I'm average at best, but I try hard to do what I can.

I simply don't do Savage. And I've said so in my FC, that I'm pretty casual and not a raider, and no one makes any kind of fuss over it. Different people play the game for different reasons - not everyone needs to be into the harder content. And despite what your jerkbrain tries to tell you, for the most part people aren't super concerned with what others are doing with their time in the game. So I'd say just find a niche you enjoy and try to let go of that worry about being The Best (I know, I know, easier said than done). Your FC would probably be supportive of you regardless if they're as nice as you say.

Good luck!

[Adeacia]

I feel the exact same way you do. I also have anxiety and depression. The times I messed with Savage, when I would die my thoughts would be "Why are you even here? You aren't good enough."

I even stopped doing ex fights for that reason. If I prevent the group from clearing because I die, I just hate myself. I don't want to inconvenience other people.

[Lord_Zlatan]

I feel the exact same way you do. I also have anxiety and depression. The times I messed with Savage, when I would die my thoughts would be "Why are you even here? You aren't good enough."

I even stopped doing ex fights for that reason. If I prevent the group from clearing because I die, I just hate myself. I don't want to inconvenience other people.

I feel like alot of people actually feel this way though, but also miss the point a bit... the people that are going to be inconvenienced by a wipe or 2 or 5 arent the type of people you want to play with anyway. There are raiders, and there are hardcore fflogs orange world firsters... they have a right to feel inconvenienced, but you would also never be in a party with them. The other people are just a**hats.

[ElazulHP]

Lots of people have anxiety(myself included!) so i'm sure they'll understand. I'd suggest talking with someone professionally about it if you have not done so already. They can really help make a difference!

[Lord_Zlatan]

OP

Thanks for sharing. its really more of a mental thing with most players rather than an ability to perform their class well. Hit me up any time ^^ (I can leave my personal discord info for you if you want).

As a side note, I often feel like with savage content, you just need to break down "the wall". You break down the wall usually when you have seen the entire fight and have got to the end without dying. For whatever reason, when this happens to me, I feel as if nothing will stop me from getting the clear, whether it be in a full on PuG or a static... theres just something about knowing youve seen it all, from start to end, that fills you with confidence (at least personally). I came back to the game a little before 4.2 and was terrified of o5s, but once I saw the enrage, quickly cleared it and then got o6 in the same night. No more oogly booglys about it.

[Aivi_lo]

I can't do savage either <hugs>

[ChaoticCrimson]

Yes, there's no need to beat yourself up if savage isn't right for you. While yes, I've been gradually working past my own anxiety and depression to wade into the savage content in the last couple months with a little bit of success, my coping strategies may or may not work for others. As such, I won't try to tell you how to go about managing the stress. If you think you can find your own ways to mitigate your anxiety and keep working on savage, then by all means give it a shot. But if you find it's more than you're comfortable with, then don't push yourself. It's a game, and you should focus on content which you find fun and/or relaxing. Everyone's experience is different, and there's no need to prove anything doing something that causes stress. Whatever it is you decide to do, I wish you the best!

[Sylvina]

My issue is I have been looking for a raid group since 4.0 and still found nothing lasting so far. I made a static recently which fell apart before we started raiding due to a key member having personal issues. And I'm not dealing with PF. PF groups rarely ever clear, I've maybe seen one clear out of 50 attempts in PF so far :/