Unfortunately everything you mentioned is what's wrong early in the game for XIV, and won't necessarily improve as you progress. Although you will find great experience parties and level much quicker starting around level 25, it will be a tough trek until you reach that point. Compounded by the fact that almost 90% of the player base has maxed all of their Disciple of War and Magic classes, you will have trouble trying to even get a party together.

I do still love XIV though and I hope you will stay with us, but if you leave it is totally understandable. I am willing to help you if you need it though, so just send me a /tell in game anytime. ^^