"Toxic"? or Just advice you don't want to hear?

[Bandibear]

I've been mulling this over for a while now. I am the type of person that needs to call out something if I see it being done, incorrectly? Less efficiently? bad.

Now I am no expert in all classes but the ones I have worked at to get to 70 I have done so from Level 1, I have then looked online for much smarter people than I to find the BiS or the best rotation at the current meta so when I enter a dungeon as say a PLD and there is a WHM and I get no medica 2 or even a regen and I am left to heal, cover and keep agro whilst they stone till their hearts content, I need to tell them that holy would be a good mitigator or even a regen medic 2 combo means they can DPS for a while not needing to worry.

Continued...

[Bandibear]

I'm sure you think it goes like this...

Öi crappy healer, try using holy for once. LEARN YOUR CLASS"

Maybe when I was younger but now it goes...

Ïn group pulls (insert healers name) holy is a good way to mitigate damage due to the stun, regen also means you don't have to worry as much"

This is where it gets interesting as no matter how "nice" I phrase it all they hear is

"YAH CRAP< CRAPPY CRAPSTER"

and immediately they become aggressive, rude and unwilling to even open a dialogue.

The chat becomes "Stop being toxic"Ügh another toxic player" Ï was doing that shut up"or some other form of rudeness.

I refrain as I always do refer to the battle log as evidence that all of what I was saying occurred but that never helps.

This mentality that all help is inherently wrong, evil and cruel for the sake of it baffles me.

Continued...

[Bandibear]

In one expert roulette, someone said "Geez, calm down its only expert. ROFL"

At no point was I in caps or tearing into anyone... they were all not good (didn't know or follow mechanics, dying a lot, low DPS etc) all I said was that it was a bad run and that mistakes were made.

Plus how does whatever dungeon it is (besides the alliance 50 raids) matter with playing. Play your best otherwise it's for the others to pick up your slack and carry you which is not fun.

Does anyone else see this or experience this problem of being labeled toxic when all you want to do is help?

Maybe I am a twat and oblivious but my Free Company (who would immediately call it) don't think so.

Is this an inherent problem within FF14 or just a me thing?

Let me know.

[Ageofwar]

first off you can edit your post to get past the 1000 charicter limit

second I don't think you are being unreasonable you just would like other to "do there job"

I think with the start of Stormblood a lot of DPS have switched over to healer jobs to reduce down the queue wait times

[KDSilver]

I'm a main healer myself, but I also play DPS a lot on various content.

Knowing someone does something I "would do better" doesn't justify me to litteraly give them "advices" on every single thing they do.
I actually even hate that myself.

Advices are good when someone really fail at doing his job correctly.
If the WHM keep everyone alive and dps with Stone instead of Holy, well yes that's too bad cause Holy is more powerfull, but when you just want to play and chill out on dungeon and someone make the police on every movment you do, it quickly become boring you know.

So I actually more or less understand them to react like this.
Relax. That's not always people not willing to listen, but being watch like this doesn't feel good to.

Like I said, if someone really really is performing super badly (really low dps, hard time healing)... yes, some advices could be good. But otherwise, especially for dungeons... let them be.

[Miles_Maelstrom]

You can edit the first comment to go past the character limit. I know it's dumb, but for the future if you want it to be a single post instead of 3 posts.

[Metalwrath]

If you're just casually giving them advice and they call you toxic then they are the issue and also its obvious they have a toxic nature.
If instead of advising you are demanding the player do what you tell them or call them out as being an idiot for not doing things a better way than you are toxic one.
If anybody tells you 'you dont pay my subs they are 100% toxic and deserve immediate votekick'

[Lilseph]

Like so many posters here pointed out in the past, the "casual" players can be equally or more "toxic" than the so called "elitists". They would think that every piece of advice it's a direct attack and you're judging them for being bad, when in reality, you're teaching them how to improve. I see nothing wrong with it. The way you word it has a huge impact on their reaction, but after reading your OP, I wouldn't think you were being rude.

[Joe777]

Rudeness isn't necessarily toxicity. Toxicity applies when the general atmosphere is relatively bad. Rude people tend to contribute to toxicity but not make it up on their own. If anything, the term toxic is used too lightly in this case if you ask me.

As for the rude response to trying to give advice: some people don't like being given advice, plain and simple. You can try anyway but no guarantee they'll listen, but that doesn't make you "toxic" for bringing it up. Now if you kept pressing the same advice after they don't seem to be taking it then it could be considered in the wrong as you would be pestering them. Give the advice once, let them take it or leave it, they'll feel the result of whichever option they take later on.

[Bandibear]

Ah thank you so much I was so confused XD