It isn't so much that healing and doing DPS gives me anxiety. It's something I've been doing since I realized it was something I could do. I've played other mmos where healing was actually based on the DPS you did, like the Chloromancer in Rift or using the AR in Secret World. So i'm not afraid of doing DPS. But I also don't want to have to download a parser, which is 'technically' against the rules of the game, or have someone deciding to kick me because I chose to throw out more heals then DPS because I felt as a healer that was the priority at that moment.

While I get that nobody wants a 'healbot' as some call it, and I don't want to play one, I am the healer. It should be MY call as to what I am doing at any given moment as long as I am doing something. I don't want people kicking me or giving me grief over doing my job instead of pushing DPS which is secondary. Especially as an AST where I only really have four attack spells to begin with (minor arcana is to RNG to count).