(1) I love PvP in many an MMO, yet can't get into it in this one. I don't know if it's more a matter of tuning, undermechanics, or aesthetics, but feeling like meandering cylinders with little interaction beyond sapping each other's numeric values just can't hold my attention. I want to enjoy it. I can readily imagine ways it could be changed such that I enjoy it, yet it's only gotten worse with time, imo (save for perhaps ARR -> HW).
(2) Players often confuse external balance (the idea that two (i.e. compositional) choices under a given premise are of equal weight or value) as the ends-all goal of development. Internal balance, the equal weight of choices across different premises (i.e. fights, compositions, and gear loadouts) allowing for more varied and individualized play, is often considered expendable, despite a larger contributor to "fun" -- even if tighter variance in viability is still required thereafter for cutting edge play. Too often players are willing to sacrifice the latter for quick payouts of the former, usually missing both (e.g. by overcompensating for fundamental issues elsewhere by just sticking more potency on already strong skills).
(3) There should be no distaste for the idea that everything amounts to primary contribution and that, as per every XIV fight--by choice, not by inherent need--all fights are completed through damage dealt, that that primary contribution will always be DPS over time. It's just common sense.
(4) Privacy in terms of performance is overrated and need not even be considered a "right". There's no benefit to keeping your poor performance private that is not equally a disbenefit to all you would hide that fact from. The only net change possible, then, is simply the guilt and/or sense of egotism over keeping up the pretense. It's best to just let the cards fall where they do, and limit discussion to improvement or praise, rather than bothering with 'white' or outright lies. (Yes, this is parser talk.)
(5) "Roles" are a misnomer. Specializations is a far more apt term. Just because a tank exists does not free you from the responsibility, when the tank is dead or d/ced and you are in the next-best position to carry it out, of saving your healers or moving mobs appropriately. Not being directly loaded with curative abilities does not free you from the responsibility to keep yourself and others alive, as best weavable to maintain best rDPS when considering that survival.