A little tip for a WAR trying to learn

[Thela]

I have not found a good time to switch stances. even at bosses ive found as soon as i switch i start taking on more damage than my healer can handle so i end up swapping back anyway. any info would be a huge help. I want to get the WAR down so i can really start end game content

Unlike PLD & DRK tank stances, Defiance doesn't actually affect your damage intake in any meaningful way. It gives you a slight amount of parry rating based on your beast gauge (up to 10%) and more hp and that's about it. Mainly the reason to go into defiance is either for higher enmity or access to inner beast / steel cyclone (self healing) but rarely for reduction to dmg taken (outside the 20% dmg reduction for 6 seconds from inner beast for tankbusters).