Sad experiences of a newbie

[Taika]

I would like to know the situations OP has experienced, but I guess they're gone already.

I have personally never seen anyone being rude to a healer who doesn't DPS. I myself am a person who will bring it up, though, if I see a healer would clearly have a chance for it but doesn't. Usually one of the two things will happen (these are real examples from the past few weeks):

<Me> Hey WHM, don't be afraid to do some Holy! ^^
<WHM> Ok ^^
>>> WHM proceedes to use some Holy, in the end of the run I thank everyone for the great run and the WHM receives 3 commendations (I queued with 2 friends).

<Me> Hey healer, don't be afraid to do some DPS when no one is in any danger! ^^
<Healer> Are you telling me how to play my job? YOU BETTER NOT BE TELLING ME HOW TO PLAY MY JOB?!?!
>>> Healer starts acting rudely and being defensive (although in this particular case, after I explained to them about my own healer experience in this game and how to use some DPS abilities easily, they did start doing some DPS in the end )

Some players, in the position of the healer, would read that second situation as "being harassed", especially if they have first answered rudely / defensively and then other party members have also responded with a harsher tone.

I'm 100% against any harassment and rudeness towards our fellow players, and will always try to step up and talk against it and report the player acting like that. However, from experience I also know that some people have difficulties making a difference between constructive feedback and harassment, so it's hard to judge situations without seeing the logs. In any case, it sucks feeling like you're being bullied when you just want to enjoy a new game you've only recently started.

[Kaldaka]

I played on the EU servers for a little while, I had very similar experiences. I truly believe it is more the cultural diversity than anything intentionally vicious.
However, it's also the foul, entitled attitudes that push me to play on NA servers - NA servers are filled to bursting with the bastards, however, they aren't malicious, they're some how friendly even when they're being total dicks.
(This is in no way an attack on anymore, just observations and experiences).

The upside to XIV though, you don't HAVE to play with a-holes if you don't want to. If you keep getting the same people, put them on /blist. Further more, this is the really really important part right here.
PLAY HOW YOU WANT TO! IT'S YOUR GAME, YOUR SUB, YOUR PLAY TIME!

PS: Whm is easier. Just throw an Aero out occassionally, and if no one is dying, just press Stone a few times, there's no juggling like their used to be.

[Soraki-Muppe]

Had a longer thing in mind but as I am a lazy cat will simply say.
IMHO, if a healer is not comfortable dpsing due to being new to the game or the content then I would rather see them first focus on healing, then slowly increase their dps as they get more comfortable with the game and content. The thinking around ABC does not really apply until a player know the ABC of their chosen job.

[Vidu]

Abuse is never warranted. It is also against the ToS and should be reported.

While I wholeheartdly agree with this, we also dont know what excatly happend - what was said to the OP in which situtaion etc.

I mention that because I've been called "rude" for giving advice before - advice that I gave in a very polite, neutral but also short matter ("Tankname, can you use more flash, please" - stuff like that. Not sugar coating that someone needs to up their game, not writing a novel with a lot of apologies for even pointing out a mistake and then begging for someone to do something they should have done in the first place. Some people consider this harrassment already, I assume...)

I'm not saying that harrassment/abuse isnt happening - people can be very rude, no denying that. But without the actual context we can hardly tell what happend here and how much was actual verbal abuse - and how much was some sort of advice that even though it might have been put in a short sentence without a lot of "please, sorry and thank you" but was recived as harrassment by the OP - which would be sad aswell but at least as an easy counter-meassure: Practice and learning the class beforehand and letting your party know that you're still getting used to it.

OP has both AST and WHM leveled around/above 50 - thats an amount of playtime after which people can rightfully expect a person to have grasped the basics of their class. We dont know wether or not OP has - I'm not even talking about DPSing or using AST-cards.
I'm talking about not applying regen pre-pull, picking a stance as AST, knowing when to use cure1/2/3.
I'm talking about sticking to the group, not standing around or running off in different directions.
I'm talking about communicating - letting your party know you're still learning and asking for pointers and being open for those. (Yes, yes, everyone can see the sprout icon and assume that someone is still learning when seeing that but its really, really nice when that person signals "Hey, I also would like to learn" - ...personally I've also been yelled at for giving to advice to a sprout that was an alt from someone... either way, better to just speak up real quick)

We all had to learn at one point or another - so I wholeheartly agree with the suggestion to look for a friendly FC/LS/friends who will be patient enough to teach someone the ropes.
But also to keep an open mind... you dont have to be a doormat for others, but you're also doing no one a favour queuing for higher level dungeons when you didnt quite understand how to play your class yet. Again... in regards to OP I can only speculate there...

Seeing how Odin and Ragnarok share a datacenter, I wouldnt mind joining OP for a few dungeons and give my honest, but hopefully polite feedback and advice on how to improve - should OP come back to read all of this... hit me up, if you want!

[Vidu]

PLAY HOW YOU WANT TO! IT'S YOUR GAME, YOUR SUB, YOUR PLAY TIME!

...again terrible advice like this...
No, you dont play how you want - there are basics every class needs to fullfill.
No, its not your game - its SEs game... that they're sharing with millions of people, you're merely one of them.
No, its not your playtime - its the playtime of everyone in the duty. Respect that.
Yes, it might be your sub/money - but that doesnt entitled you to just do what you want.

You can do all of that in a solo-game or on solo-content in this game. Disregarding the time, effort and presence of your fellow teammates in a DF-party is the first step to abuse. And its you whos taking it.
You dont have to take abuse or harrassment in any way or form in this game, that much is correct.
But you cant play how you want either, you're not alone in a dungeon and if your style of playing is interferring with the enjoyment of the run for the other 3/7/23 people in that dungeon you open yourself to advice/comments. If you take a defensive stance by claiming "I play how I want" you'd deserve a votekick right and there.

TL;DR.: Thats a shitty attitude to bring to a team-game. Leave it at home or stick to solo-games.

[BluexBird]

I don't mind the "play how you want to" advice. But if you want to be a dick and/or not play your job properly, don't act surprised when people treat you like garbage.

[Metalwrath]

I played on the EU servers for a little while, I had very similar experiences. I truly believe it is more the cultural diversity than anything intentionally vicious.
However, it's also the foul, entitled attitudes that push me to play on NA servers - NA servers are filled to bursting with the bastards, however, they aren't malicious, they're some how friendly even when they're being total dicks.
(This is in no way an attack on anymore, just observations and experiences).



.

Actually Europeans tend to fight a lot less than other nations especially in gaming.Im not sure where you get the idea about different cultures creating conflict.We're not living in the medieval times anymore.

[Kaldaka]

Im not sure where you get the idea about different cultures creating conflict.

Personally, I watched a lot more racism and hatred, even experienced a fair amount when I was of Ragnarok for a few months, than I ever have on NA servers. Things may be different now, but from the experiences I've had, I don't have a very fond outlook on them. My assumption of it being cultural diversity, is because of personal experiences.
I have no ill will against them, I just can't understand where it comes from, or why.
Though at the same time, a lot of things (for example) that my irl Spanish friends think is fine, is highly inappropriate: ie "I hate you", said in jest, or not, it's inappropriate and is easy to misconstrue.

That's what I'm getting at. Do understand now?

[Masekase_Hurricane]

Personally, I watched a lot more racism and hatred, even experienced a fair amount when I was of Ragnarok for a few months, than I ever have on NA servers. Things may be different now, but from the experiences I've had, I don't have a very fond outlook on them. My assumption of it being cultural diversity, is because of personal experiences.
I have no ill will against them, I just can't understand where it comes from, or why.
Though at the same time, a lot of things (for example) that my irl Spanish friends think is fine, is highly inappropriate: ie "I hate you", said in jest, or not, it's inappropriate and is easy to misconstrue.

That's what I'm getting at. Do understand now?

I play on Ragnarok and I don't see what you are seeing.

[Kaldaka]

...again terrible advice like this...

I Understand your opinion, but we're both running on assumption here. Neither of us know the circumstances, however a player should never be treated like they're inferior under any circumstances.
If you (objective) don't like how they're playing then take the penalty and let them actually learn at their own pace, learn from their mistakes in their time. Being an absolute nut job because they're unable to heal you through pulling everything as far as the first boss, or not knowing how a specific tank does it's rotation, etc does NOT give anyone the right to be horrible.

The ONLY thing being horrible will do is drive people away, more so since it's the attacker thinking they are mightier than thou.

Again, as repeated often: down to interpretation of events.
In the end, everyone needs to just chill, have some patience and respect.