I need advice on an FC matter

[LathyrusLoon]

As the title says, I need advice on how to resolve a problem my fc is having with our "leader".

The important background information:

A little over a year ago my FC imploded, leaving only myself and another member active. That other person logged in before me and so Ownership of the FC went to him. He's never lead an fc before (he wasn't much more than a new recruit when this happened) so I took on whatever I could as co-leader.

Over time others joined us and we've worked extremely hard to revitalize the FC.

The problems:

The FC owner is a terrible leader. He doesn't listen to his fc members. He says wildly inappropriate things at the drop of a hat. He breaks promises and agreements. We have weekly meetings and he'll agree to the plans made, then turn around and do exactly what we asked him not to do. I have gotten complaints about his behavior from other members. Many times. I have talked to him about this. Many times. His other co-leader has talked to him about this. Many Times.

Recently I had a real life situation that resulted in me being unable to be on for most of the second half of Nov. I got back and two of my FC mates, -who could easily be called the heart of the FC- have reached their breaking point. They don't want to leave- but they don't want to stay anymore either.

And if they leave, I don't have enough reason to stay.

The easiest option, in some ways, would be to just leave. But we've put hundreds of hours, and a great deal of money and tears into this fc and it doesn't sit right with me to just abandon it.

But what can I do? Do I confront him, again about his behavior?

One of the two FC mates saying she wants to leave also says that

"I honestly still see him as a really close friend...it's just his leadership sucks." and "I think he has to know that he affected us all, u know?...but I don't want it to be in a bad way."

But is sparing his feelings the right course of action?

Furthermore, one of these people funded the small FC house almost entirely on his own. The other FC member and I have done 99% of the decorating and furnishing. It doesn't seem fair for me to advise them to leave, when they've put so much into it.

If I was the Leader and him another FC member, the course of actions would be clear. I wold have given him warnings when we had our discussions about his behavior. I would have been able to give him an ultimatum, improve his behavior towards his fellow fc members or be asked to leave. It never should have gotten to this point but if it had, I could dismiss him.

But he's the Leader. Not me. What the hell do I do?

[Nalfein]

Make a new FC with your friends? Together you'll catch up pretty fast otherwise there's not much that you can do since he's the leader now. Also I feel that both sides of the story are needed here.

[Mirch]

dethrone, elect new leader.

[MistakeNot]

Asking nicely clearly doesn't help, so as I see you really only have two options:
1) Just leave together with the other members who want to do so.
2) Give the current FC owner an ultimatum: Either he shapes up as leader quickly, or hands over the leadership to someone else - or the lot of you will leave. And then stick to it.

[Sakuraluna]

Honestly, it isn't fair considering the energy you all have put into this only to get nothing out, but if you've reached your breaking point, and others have reached their breaking points, it isn't healthy anymore. Don't keep trying to grapple with him. He's let you know he isn't there to work with you. Cut your losses and leave.

I might let him know in the next meeting that you're having some very real problems with his leadership and that if it doesn't change immediately you will take action, just so he isn't blindsided, then when that doesn't get him to change his tune, leave without another word. Blist him until he's ready to talk like a civil person if you have to. Start an ls for everyone you want to keep in touch with and if they choose to follow you then build a new fc or join an existing one with better leadership. Then put your energy into something that will benefit you and those around you rather than something that's just going to pull you down over time.

[Solarianna]

Unfortunately, no matter how connected you feel to the FC, he's the leader, and there's no system that can backtrack that.
Provided staying under those conditions isn't a choice, your only option is to bring him the issue in a way similar to an ultimatum, explaining one last time that this situation is unbearable.
You can provide him two choices of dealing with the issue without causing a dissention:
- He can drop leadership to someone else;
- He can otherwise keep the leadership, but acknowledge his behaviour has been unacceptable and harmful to the FC environment, and change it henceforth.

Tell him that should he choose not to abide for either of these terms, he should expect you and other people to leave at some point.

If he does disregard all of this, I'm afraid all you can do is gather the people who feel the same as you and leave. I understand that you may have some emotional ties with the FC and that you may even consider that person your friend. But at the end of the day, this is a game, and the reason games exist is for entertainment purposes. No person should login on FFXIV (or any other game for that matter) under conditions of "let's see what happens in today's «Will I or will I not get pissed off or hurt today?» lottery".
Also, although you didn't specify it, I assume that since you helped rebuild the FC, you're in possession of a rank of power.
If that is the case, my advice to you is that if he does fail to follow through with your terms, you avoid to leave with him online. The reason is very simple. With him offline you can use the tools your rank gives you to take back any of the resources that the FC has that were originally yours. This can go from furniture to items in the FC chest or even gil.
Yes, it sounds cold, but my opinion is that if the person didn't care or respect you enough to, as leader and player both, try to fix the issue that he knows is hurting you and your other friends, then he doesn't deserve to be the one taking advantage of the resources you've put in. You and your friends will need them for your future FC.
By doing this with him offline, you prevent that he notices you are taking stuff off before you're done, and in a tantrum of narcisism, revokes your rights and claims your stuff for himself.

I've been Guild Master and Raid Leader in World of Warcraft, and I'm currently an officer for my FC. I don't consider myself someone with aptitude to command/lead others. The reason I believe things went well is because, with all my ineptitudes, I tried my hardest to respect the thing I think is most important in any kind of leadership. Which is to stand beside the people under me, instead of putting myself ahead. Showing them that, yeah, I have a higher rank, but that it doesn't mean I consider myself above them. Treat their issues the exact same way as if they were mine. Treat them as equals.
We can talk days on end until the cows come home about leadership styles, which chain of command works better, etc. but as soon as some "leader" makes it about himself/herself instead of making it about the group as a whole, and he/she disregards others because he/she doesn't care enough, then he/she is not deserving of being any sort of leader and all that keeping the rank is gonna achieve is to coddle his/her ego, and make it a toxic environment for others.

I believe, from what you wrote, this is an accurate description of what is happening with your leader, especially if he does ignore your warnings.
With that being said, he does hold the rank and that's something that you can't fix unless he does it on his own. But my whole opinion is based on that if he does fail to care enough to fix the issue, then he should take the consequences of spotlight-hogging, and all you can do is prevent him from reaping benefits that he doesn't deserve.

Hope this helped somehow.

[ManuelBravo]

Having an FC means you have to play the Devil's advocate at times. Know what your capable of and never trust anyone with any major functions.

Based on your situation looks like you got stuck with a FC leader who only thinks of his personal gain. Your best choice would be to leave. If you are the Master and start your own you can kick anyone out and set new rules. Remove or edit their action capabilities.

These include;

Housing; Anything to do with demolishing or selling FC land , house, removing items internal or external.

FC Chest;

They should only have viewing and deposit privileges. Anything they want should go trough you or appointed treasurer. NEVER GIVE ACCESS TO REMOVE GILL FROM FC SAFE.

Airship Access; / Workshop;

Airships; should only be used for collecting materials or going as a group. NEVER GIVE ACCESS TO DISMANTLE OR CHANGE PARTS.

For Workshop; IF they are doing parts full access. Otherwise contributions only.

Set your rules on main board and keep people updated.

IF your planning hardcore create a Voice Chat or website if possible. If casual up to you.

Be strict but fair. My number one rule is No DRAMA.

It's up to you just remember if you go against someone that has power over you they will kick you out instead. No matter how good of friendship it is FC leaders can turn on you.

I am a one man FC and on Occasions take in temp people to use my FC while they wait for a housing opportunity. Having a Large estate, All maxed out gardens, airships, and facilities will really help. After searching trough soooo many FC I came to the realization I rather join their FC LS than their actual FC. It has worked out great for me. may not be for everyone yet has tons of benefits to be SOLO. If I need help I invite people for raids and such that I am close with and trust. I have run various FC's Guilds, LS in various games and have seen and experience the horror of Troll leaders and poor leaderships. In RL I manage over 100 employees with include branch operations and offices so it's really no different, just need to remember the golden rule. Being captain is the loneliest job in the world. Reward as needed and remember YOU ARE THE JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER.

[kidalutz]

I would start a new FC personally it sounds as if you already got the leadership qualities yourself OP You and the others sever yourselves form the Toxic even if it costs and FC house and hard work it's better than being made miserable every time you login to complaints.The game in the end is meant to be a fun and enjoyable experience and if your FC is not having fun and enjoying themselves it's time to cut ties and do your own thing yeah starting from scratch again sucks but you got to ask yourselves if it's suckier than dealing with the issues youre currently dealing with.

[DrWho2010]

Give him the ultimatum. If he doesn't comply and everyone else agrees to it, when he's offline and if you have the permissions, empty everything/take what you can and leave to start over. There really should be a sort of FC company vote system to overturn a leadership, though that could be abused some how to just remove ppl.

[KaivaC]

If you give me a little bit of your time, I experienced a very similar situation a few months ago. The leader of my prior FC was really good – until a few members left. Some for personal reasons, others because they burned out, but those are things that an FC leader cannot control. Rather than accept and move on, the leader changed a lot. A lot of the rules became harsher in hindsight, and eventually, it came to a breaking point where all of that came into the open. Many of us tried talking to him multiple times to get him to see that what he was doing was going to cause the FC to break apart.

He didn’t listen.

I personally gave him an ultimatum after issues flared during a raid – I don’t deal with drama, so I left the party and told him he needed to settle down and understand where we, the members who held pretty significant positions in the FC, were coming from. He didn’t listen, so I left the FC. The members who tried talking to him eventually grew tired of dealing with him as well and came along with me.

Point is, from what I’ve seen, you have given this leader many chances. I’m not saying that leaders should adopt to everything that their members say, however, if you want to keep an FC functioning, you need to be flexible as a leader, listen to what your members are saying, and stick to what you say you will do. It doesn’t look like the leader is doing that in your case, so I would give it one final shot: as someone said above, give them an ultimatum. Being a good friend doesn’t mean you have to be submissive and bow down to their every whim, especially if it’s affecting your gameplay. If the ultimatum doesn’t work, then leave. Build a new FC or even join another one. Heck, based on what you posted alone, I’d invite you and your partners to mines.

Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out with MMO guilds. Don’t feel bad if it comes to the point that you have to leave. You’ve done your part and did what you could. This might be one of those situations where it’s just better to leave. Hope this helped along with what the other posters are saying.