Well, being super socially active and wanting to just find the little community to be with it's different but you are right and that's me who is the problem here, well, mostly my always active self-defence state of mind, that shell that I can't destroy.That's a whole different sort of problem my friend. Can't have your cake and eat it too - either you get people to notice you or you don't. If social interaction is that frightening to you you might want to see a therapist. Note, I'm not saying you're nuts or anything, I think it's actually a pretty common problem for folks - just that your mental state seems to be conflicting with a goal of yours, which they might be able to help you with.
I'll destroy that shell for you! I love elezen! If only you were on the Primal Data center, I'd befriend you. :P
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