So...have do you make friends?

[DDkiki]

Decided to return again and really love changes so I probably will stick again for a while.

But I have a problem... when I transferred to Omega at SB start I broke all bridges and lost all little connections I had and found really hard to start any others...It's awkward to join any FC as I had my fair share of bad experience and my social anxiety make me hard to even ask anyone about their fcs, I can't just start talking with strangers...so I don't know, finding myself just sitting in Limsa listening other people conversations while waiting for duty.

Really want to start catching up all content, like primals and try to clear Savage but don't have anyone to do content with...

Do you have any good advice? It's depressing how I'm feeling lonely in such a game.

[TitaniaYaerem]

I've been in your shoes, hence why I moved servers. People who were my friends called me all sorts of things behind my back and then act all nice to my face. This all led to my depression and anxiety, which I had under control for the longest time, to start to resurface and lead to suicidal thoughts, severe depression, and anxiety attacks. Took me a while to even feel like talking to people again but from my experience it took time to cope, and then when I felt like I had coped a bit, I started to slowly open up and talk to people in my FC. You don't have to be super chatty at first, just simple 'hellos' will do and a little light conversations to get the ball rolling. Lets people know that you're there and you are willing to talk and from there you can come out at your own pace.

[DDkiki]

One of the reasons I moved was to get over things I had happened to there, that also got me into deep depression and suicidal tendency.

But right now on this server I barely know only few people, and I think I'm bothering them when asking to do stuff like roulettes as they mostly never join.

The FC I randomly joined but wasn't really into it was dead when I returned, the last person online was 45 days ago or something so I left it.

It's hard to join already formed server society, I feel like a third party who just there while most of the players already only live in their closed communities that circles around people knowing each other.

[Lurkios]

It's hard to join already formed server society, I feel like a third party who just there while most of the players already only live in their closed communities that circles around people knowing each other.

Sometimes you just have to claim someone or some group to make your way in.

/em grabs <t>'s tail.
/em claims <t>.
/s Mine.

Got me a good friend for a long time.

Walking into a middle of a group and saying "Hey new friends, what are we doing?" got me a raid group too.

Just gotta put yourself out there. Most folks are cool, but you're the one looking for folks - if you don't let them know you're not going to find anyone.

I have my old macro
/Poke motion
/Emote pokes <t>'s nose. Boop!

But people just ignoring it most of the time.

(Be aware that the majority of folks just standing around are afk. Be a sportsman, moving targets.)

One other thing I'll throw in, if your FC has a discord or something - get in the discord. 90% of the activity happens over voice chat, always.

[DDkiki]

Sometimes you just have to claim someone or some group to make your way in.

/em grabs <t>'s tail.
/em claims <t>.
/s Mine.

Got me a good friend for a long time.

Walking into a middle of a group and saying "Hey new friends, what are we doing?" got me a raid group too.

Just gotta put yourself out there. Most folks are cool, but you're the one looking for folks - if you don't let them know you're not going to find anyone.

When people actually noticing me I actually want to dig a hole, hide there and just disappear from this world entirely so your method will be hard :<

I know that one person I remember from my old server are on omega too and actually wanted to contact them but I afraid he don't remember and I don't think he ever liked me to begin with...

[Lurkios]

When people actually noticing me I actually want to dig a hole, hide there and just disappear from this world entirely so your method will be hard :<

I know that one person I remember from my old server are on omega too and actually wanted to contact them but I afraid he don't remember and I don't think he ever liked me to begin with...

That's a whole different sort of problem my friend. Can't have your cake and eat it too - either you get people to notice you or you don't. If social interaction is that frightening to you you might want to see a therapist. Note, I'm not saying you're nuts or anything, I think it's actually a pretty common problem for folks - just that your mental state seems to be conflicting with a goal of yours, which they might be able to help you with.

[Trunks]

Do dungeons or other stuff with random people, when you find someone you like or had fun with, send them a friend request. Two clicks! A lot of the time it's that simple. People don't even have to be on your server for this anymore.

Otherwise the #1 way into an FFXIV player's heart is to compliment their glamour (or their house). Nearly every non-FC/RL friend on my list got there this way.

Duty Finder conditions people into thinking that nobody ever wants to talk, but the opposite is really true -- it's just that pretty much everyone's been conditioned in the same way. It can be scary to initiate, but somebody has to take the first step.

[miraidensetsu]

One other thing I'll throw in, if your FC has a discord or something - get in the discord. 90% of the activity happens over voice chat, always.

That makes me think on tranfer to Behemoth. I'm not confident in spoken english (since it's pretty bad), since it isn't my main language. I'm on FC, added it to Facebook and Discord, but never went to voice chat.

And on Behemot there are entire FC's with people from my country.

[Cylla]

snip

Similar situation for me also when I played on Hyperion. Got so feed up with the situation I was put in by the FC leader and so-called friends that I just finally up and left the server for Balmung. Still had a fair share of problems on Balmung at the start but over time through friendly chatter I've met some pretty decent people. One who I can proudly say has become a very close friend.

I tend to be on the not talking at all to light chatter side and very rarely do I just walk up to someone and start a conversation. In fact by the end of last year, I was trying to avoid people left and right. Didn't want to get to know anyone, didn't want friends, etc. Anxiety of being stuck in a bad situation overruled. Think it was back in Nov of last year, I left a FC on Balmung where I got trapped between some feud between the FC leader and her boyfriend. I was quick to realize both were psycho and left the FC. Horrible mess that was and made me not want to trust anyone even more.

But funny enough - Christmas eve night I took a chance and started talking to another player who I took a liking to. Was a total dork about it. I was anxious beyond belief and sent like this crazy random /tell at the end of the night and logged out before he could answer. I though, "My my god he's never going to speak to me again. Must think I'm crazy." Short of the story: Christmas day, he sent me a friend request the moment I logged in and since then, we've done everything together in the game and he's helped me a lot and via. We've just been close friends ever since.

So yeah, all it takes is a bit of stepping out of your shell. It hard I know because you may feel like you'll just end up in another bad situation. When I look back and think about it had I not taken that chance that night I'd maybe missed out on the chance of never having that person as such a close friend now. And maybe even had quit this game some months ago.