It stands to reason the only people here arguing against my "better interests" are the ones who just unilaterally are saying no to parsers.

Now then, while you don't care to go back and forth on it (side note: same here), it's worth noting that - in a bubble - having a parser isn't going to help you learn a fight's mechanics faster (ACT callouts notwithstanding). It WILL help in identifying any issues with performance and I have not, nor will not dispute that. But I'd call it pretty hollow reasoning to claim someone's going to clear a fight first (from a mechanical standpoint) because they parse. If so, why do people die to things even with ACT callouts?

Yes, "people make mistakes". But people are also fully capable of learning HOW to clear a fight without callouts or a tool that helps measure performance. Again, how else would I or any "disadvantaged" console player have accomplished anything without all this time? Please note, again, this is NOT me saying "No parsers! Everything's fine! Console players can do anything!" I am very much saying we aren't inept and incapable of learning or playing without. That's it. That's really it right there. Not who learns faster, not who can clear quicker or more smoothly; my issues with the "disadvantage" begins and ends with the base idea of "can you do it?"

And we can.