Like many have said, don't use Bardam as a reference. It's much harder than most expert stuff.

When healing it's really easy to blame yourself for other people's shortcomings. Kinda comes with the job unfortunately. Minako speaks the truth you should listen to her.

If it's any help, my "pull rotation" is usually Largesse > Regen on tank > swiftcast > medica II > Asylum > Aero III > Assize > presence of mind + thin air > holy. Then I tetra, bene, divine benison, or cure II as needed. The combination of the 3 HoTs is usually good enough to keep the tank up with the assize, the HoT ticks during the first holy stun and tetra+bene.

I readjust if the tank is particularly squishy (less or no holy spam) or if the dps is low (keep an eye on mana).

I'm also on Faerie and on Eastern time so feel free to hit me up if you want to fool around in dungeons or go grab some omega normal gear. Sounds like you need a bit of fun time to get back into the vibe of healing