Big pulls are the norm, if the healer isn't happy, they can speak up. If the DPS aren't outputting enough damage, then a tank with half a brain will slow down and let them do single target rotations since it's not worth the effort to offer advice that is met with anger.
If the rest of the party want small pulls and the tank doesn't, you have three options-
1) deal with it
2) kick the tank and hope for a replacement that will inevitable prefer big pulls
3) become a tank

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