Curious About FFXIV Team Right Now, Ideas? (For Funsies)

[Kuponutz]

I'm sitting here reading about Housepocalypse wondering exactly what's going on at SE HQ RIGHT NOW. For a little light hearted fun on the back of being up half the night and way too much coffee.
Is Yoshi P pacing the floor chewing his nails trying to figure out how to fix this?
Are the forum mods in a big meeting around a large desk, or doing webcam conversations as to how to handle this?
Is Yoshi demanding that SE give him more money to buy better servers?
Are the PR team sat in a meeting trying to decide what to say to the players and how to word it?
Is Bayohne rapidly scrolling through pages and pages of complaints trying to decide which ones need to be sent to the higher ups?
Are all of them wishing they'd called in sick today?
Is Fern pulling his (last) hair out? <3 lol

I know they get crap every patch, and this is a whole new level of WTF, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall in some of those rooms right now. Despite my disappointment I can't help but feel like they have the best of intentions at heart

Anyone have other ideas as to what might be going down in various SE locations globally right now?