Searching out a relationship for the sake of a relationship is a great way to start something that won't last. My first relationship was five years long and about four and a half of them were super abusive but a fear of being alone kept me in.

It took me about a year after finally ending everything to be really okay with being single. I found some hobbies (like mmo's!) and started going to the gym in my spare time. About six months into my wonderful happy single life I met the best man ever, we've had 5 years of the perfect relationship since then.

I think to get to the place you want to be (in a happy relationship where you feel supported and loved, like you can blindly trust your significant other with anything) it takes getting to know and love yourself first. I was 21 before I was secure enough to start something that is healthy and happy.

From your posts I feel like you need to feel better about you. You even call yourself unattractive! That is not okay. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see then change it. Going to the gym was an amazing thing for me; I'd carried around like 15 lbs that I was never happy with and when I got rid of them I felt amazing. You need to feel amazing about you, whatever that takes. Confidence is sexy but more importantly not feeling backed into a corner where you'll date anyone willing to date you is important. Having some self worth will naturally increase the standards that you hold potential girlfriends to and that's a good thing. Have standards.

I know this is sort of rambly, my apologies, it's just something very close to my heart. Love you before you try to love someone else!