I'm afraid I relate to OP on a spiritual level.

Out of experience on both sides I will agree that desperation is an ugly thing, a very ugly thing! I've been scared away by it and have driven someone away with it.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I can guarantee you're not as bad as you think are. Even if some days you feel as if no one on this green Earth could ever possibly love a person like you you're wrong.

I can't tell you 'you'll meet someone eventually!' because you know, it doesn't work that way for everyone.. But it's really not gonna happen if you turn into a basement dwelling 30 something recluse who works a job they hate that's made them come to loathe the human race and is destined to die a crazy ferret hoarder- Oh wait, that's me. Don't turn into me, get out there and live, for you.