Dating & Romance Rant

[YuuNarukami]

With all the tips in this thread for you, OP. I have full faith that if you take them to heart, you'll find someone one day. I believe in you!

In truth, when you find someone who you really connect with, it changes you for the better. You make each other better people.

[Crysten]

OP - I'm going to apologise in advance if any of this sounds harsh - rest assured this isn't my intention and I relate a lot to what you're experiencing.

In my experience, I used to live abroad in Japan for several years in my 20s, and I'm 32 now. While I was out there, I travelled home to visit my family one Christmas and met one of my old university friends. We hit it off extremely well after all the time since uni, had a long distance relationship and a year or so later, I made the conscious decision that I wanted to return home for her.

Sure enough, it happened, we started a relationship, but the kicker was I was stuck on the ground floor looking for new work and living with my parents. Less than three months later, I found myself single on Christmas Eve and she had already got another guy lined up. Turns out that she never really loved me as much as I did her and that stung, especially with the sacrifices I had already made.

So there I am, back home from somewhere I absolutely loved living, living with my parents, with a minimum wage job, and have been dumped on Christmas Eve in favour of a guy more attractive and successful than I am. Basically, rock bottom.

Since then, while I've always had this lingering want in the back of my mind to get another relationship, my self-confidence took a massive hit and I've never really been able to trust or go out of my way to meet anyone else since then. That said, eventually I woke up one morning, and decided to, perhaps rather selfishly, channel my energy into me instead.

I used it as a means to hit the gym, pour my energy into my work and creative outlets and slowly but surely come back out of my shell. My logic? That if I ever do meet someone, I have reason to be proud of myself and a reason that if I ever see my ex again, I can show her exactly what she missed out on.

Sure enough, I now own my own home, have a very well paid job and look better than I did back then, so all wins - the only thing I'm lacking is someone to share it with. The point I'm trying to make is as people have said though, it's all about being happy and confident with yourself before you can move on to others. If you hate everything about yourself or are wallowing in self-pity, you've already lost the battle.

At the end of the day, being in your mid 20s is not really the time to be panicking about this and giving up on this aspect of your life. You shouldn't be looking for love for the sake of it. It might even be worth looking at it from a different perspective. Relationships are normal, yes, but so is being single. Don't use the fact you are as a means of putting yourself down, as there are pros and cons to each!

Enjoy your independence and use the opportunity to reflect and better yourself - the rest will fix itself. Everyone's rooting for you, mate.

[Pence]

Step 1) Stop posting your relationship woes on a gaming forum. It's weird.

Step 2) Download Tinder.

Step 3) Swipe.

Step 4) Chat like you would anyone else until you have a connection. Done.

[Avatre]

Step 1) Stop posting your relationship woes on a gaming forum. It's weird.

Step 2) Download Tinder.

Step 3) Swipe.

Step 4) Hope someone you swiped yes for swipes yes on your profile

Step 5) Chat like you would anyone else until you have a connection. Done.

Fixed that for you. It doesn't help to swipe yes on someone and them not swiping yes on you, as otherwise you cannot talk to them.

May want to try Match instead I know of a few gamer friends that met there. Seems more reliable.

As someone who has tried(and failed - might need to get a friend to review my profile and give feedback...) using Match, it does seem like it is more likely to find a meaningful relationship through it rather than through Tinder. Only thing I've noticed, is that if you want to communicate with someone and it's not the "Free Weekend" thing, it does cost a fair amount(though it does seem to have more success stories than almost anywhere else).

[ManuelBravo]

May want to try Match instead I know of a few gamer friends that met there. Seems more reliable.

[Nora_of_Mira]

I must have missed the part in the 4.1 content preview about dating and romance. Can I date Estinien? How do I get him to like me?

[Vidu]

I must have missed the part in the 4.1 content preview about dating and romance. Can I date Estinien? How do I get him to like me?

http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/pr/blog/000692.html
I'm afraid Estinien isnt on the list so far...

That joke aside: While I understand that this might not be the ideal place to post about someones personal problems (and this thread being potentially closed because its not related to the game), whats the problem with it? If he feels comfortable enough within this community to share something personal like this, we shouldnt make fun of that or get a little nasty but maybe rathertry to prove that this is indeed a nice enough community that someone might be able to share those things - I can understand the need to just talk about it somehow somewhere, even if it might not be the best place.

[Nora_of_Mira]

whats the problem with it?

I don't have an answer, other than I came to this forum and clicked this thread thinking it was FFxiv related. I think my needs as a reader of the forums are equal to the rights of posters to the forums. But if this stuff is allowed in GD, I'll move along and read other complaints.

[Mycow8me]

http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/pr/blog/000692.html
I'm afraid Estinien isnt on the list so far...

Not gonna lie, this would be pretty awesome if it was still in the works as a fellowship system similar to ffxi... But with how well SE is killing off their cast, I dunno how it would even be possible unless it ends up utilizing the retainers which would still be great but not nearly as interesting.

[TouchandFeel]

So slightly tangential yet somehow also very relevant.

I recently picked up the latest Odesza album, "A Moment Apart", and there is a really nice uplifting song on there that I feel may be worth a listen to anyone feeling down in the dumps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF-UznUkhP8