Snow Princess, staying alive is the responsibility of both parties. If a healer could carry a tank who didn't use any of their defensive cooldown, there be little reason for tanks to have defensive cooldowns in the first place.

The basic problem you are facing is that little thing called personality types. Some players read each spell and ask others for suggestions for when best to use them. While other players cannot be bothered to read the spell tooltips and blame other players for their failings.

S.E could put more tips in the game regarding tanking but those tips won't do much unless the can't be bothered tank players decide to be better tanks. That takes time and peer pressure.

Yes, the bad tank managed to get you kicked today; but, how many times do you think he's going to be able to blame the healer and get away with it? Soon, he'll be the one kicked and it will happen again and again.

Maybe then, maybe, that cannot be bothered tank will see the light and change into a tank who studies his cooldowns and cooldowns.