Perhaps you're right, and lack of an official parser don't make such behavior non-existant. However, HAVING an in-game parser will only make it more widespread and it'll quickly become the norm, just as it happened on WoW and pretty much every other game where parsing addons were 100% legan and not againsyt ToS. And then everybody who is not capable to perform above an arbitrary level of performance set by the community's zeitgeist will be shunned, left out and kicked from EVERY party - from daily roulettes to savage statics. EVERYBODY will be EXPECTED to min/max their characters to oblivion and back, regardless of how casual they are or if that level of performance being demanded from each and every player is actually needed to clear said content.
And no, I'm not being a doomsayer. I'm telling you exactly how things are now and were for years in World of Warcraft. in RIFT. In Wildstar. In pretty much every MMO that dared to add addon support.
People in general, and specially MMO players, are an egotistical, individualist bunch under a very big and heavy blanket of internet anonimity. They only care about their own needs, their own progression, their own items, that they crave for their own bragging rights. This very topic is living proof of that. So yeah, SE knows exactly the kind of leash this community needs to hold that behavior in check. And they will not offer to anyone an officially-endorsed way of practicing that. Your statement about how people are already judging and kicking people due to performance reasons even without addons is a very strong indication that they won't indeed ever implement an official parser that'll make the problem even worse.
You may think that parsers are an evolution of MMOs, when all they did was making the community more toxic and less casual-friendly. Which is the OPPOSITE direction they are going for with FFXIV since ARR's inception. The only way parsers will be implemented is if they pull a Star Wars Galaxies on us, which is something extremely unlikely. But by all means, you're free to cling on to your hope. We can talk again in a couple of years, and then a couple of years more.