And then they ask, where are all the healers at..

[Elamys]

I think I should have made my Blame the Healer humor excuses a bit more outlandish as some people read it and Wooosh right over the head.
So, rather than cat walking across keyboard:

People may even try to throw in internet connections, hardware playing up, cat walking across keyboard hamster trying to mate with my gaming mouse.
All these should be dispensed with, cast aside, they are falsehoods.

If your point was that people frequently lie about why they're playing badly, yes, obviously that's true, but people also frequently have internet/hardware problems. It's better, in my mind, to just believe them (or act as if you believe them) because it's really not worth the drama and internet problems especially can be frequent enough that who are you to call it a lie?