Almost every MMO I have ever played has your standard cookie-cutter builds for any given class - as dictated by current capabilities and the content they are expected to engage in. Waves of clones, all with closely identical stats because the census is that it is what you need to do to be the best. Thus, such things as being unique is usually not a heavily relied upon methodology. Still, I'll agree that it is always nice to have around for those that want it - and FFXIV doesn't have much in the way of affording you that courtesy.

Melding aside, and understanding that he who has the best gear will have the odds tipped in their favor, what sets us apart is how we handle our skill, spells, traits, and abilities. As well, the cross-role system does afford us a bit more customization on how we consume content.

Gear is simply a tool. In the hands of a poor player, superior gear is a waste. In the hands of a great player, gear is a powerful weapon. Since that is really how we tell each other apart, I've found the FFXIV community to be hyper sensitive to good and poor performance.

In summary, while I have personally found the better geared player to have favor on their side, I've found that our unique identities are more derived from how good we are at playing the class/job. In how we handle situations both mundane and dire. Our stats are just a vehicle to get us there. But, perhaps I have developed that mindset in response to the absence of any greater form of customization.