I don't know if this is something that is endemic to the "ME" generation, but I hear and see a whole lot of people complaining about the DPS queue times. So this is addressed to you hypothetical "Me Me Me!" people:
I prefer DPS. But I also play MMOs because I like the sense of community and social interaction. If I wanted instant gratification without the need to fill social roles, I'd play a single player game. So the first class I'm leveling in Stormblood is a tank. That doesn't make me better than you hypothetical "Me Me Me!" people. But I can at least say that I don't have problems with queue times.1. Join a Free Company
2. Make Friends
3. Have a conversation about taking turns playing a Tank or Healer class
4. Shorten DPS queue times for yourself and your friends
5. Shorten DPS queue times for the entire community (if queue with less than 4)
6. Participate in a Gaming Community
Welcome to the Gaming Community.
I thought the suggestion was common sense, too. But evidently any suggestion that you should consider other players when playing a MULTI-player game is toxic. This game seems to attract a lot of "Don't tell me how to play!" players who get upset when you make suggestions. And that's pretty unfortunate, considering that a suggestion is optional, not mandatory. And it's pretty strange that anyone would get so upset about something that is optional.
Most of the stuff you're pointing out here is experienced through the duty finder. I've experienced it too. It's frustrating. And that's why I suggested that folks form groups from within their free company. I've basically been running Roulettes for my FC every day since the launch of SB. And it's been fun. I haven't had to sit in a queue for an hour. And neither have they.
You're right. You can't tank and be a fragile snowflake. Lots of people will criticize you for not playing the way they want, or playing the way they think you should play. Tanks receive lots of abuse. And if you're a fragile snowflake, you'll get incredibly frustrated and melt under the scrutiny.
But it would be a false dilemma to suggest that it's a choice between two bad options: Either queue as DPS (and get frustrated with the long queue times) or queue as Tank (and get frustrated with the abuse). Because there are other options. I suggested one option: queue as a tank with folks in your free company. But that's just a suggestion. I imagine there might even be better suggestions and options.