This thread might sound silly to you but it's actually a serious topic that I need to mention, as it really got into me.

I've started to play Final Fantasy 14 on July 2016, so it's been a year, and I met wonderful people. The community is very nice, at least on my server, people are trying to help each other. However I've also met other players in game, randomly, that have had a huge impact on my well being.

Now, there isn't a day when I don't think about them and it seriously drives me crazy. Among all my encounters in this game, two names, two, come out of the ordinary. Of course I won't be saying any of these names but I need to explain to you a little bit how it's been impacting me, because I feel like this is the right thing to do and I would like to get, perhaps, some advice, some points of view.

I'm young, I am barely 20yo, and due to family events I'm very concerned about the others and I always try to have things working well. Quite emotional, yes, and that didn't help with the friendship I built with these two friends.

I either feel disgust, regret or deep melancholy when thinking about them because we used to be really close, and then the bounds disappeared. I've been warned by other players to be careful because one of them was a drama sort of person, you know, always mysterious, will never tell things and will leave you without any answer. This behaviour that appeared progressively certainly significates some sort of depression but it reached me at an unbelievable point: I was so much concerned that I actually spent days doing nothing but thinking about it, and I even missed University exams just because of that. In other words it also got me depressed, depressed just because of an online friendship on a virtual game. And of course, I am not telling you all the details.

When I speak about friendships, I always insist on the importance of that same word. I consider friendships something very special, maybe too much important, and sometimes people don't understand fully how significant it is for me to care for such bounds.

It would take ages to say how it is, I even had nightmares, lots of nightmares, about that topic. An example: I dreamed that my fc and me were trying to save my friend from turning to the enemy's side, that was symbolized by the Imperium. You might tell me to just forget, or put less importance in friendships, in people, but that really is easy to say and difficult to do. I really love my relatives and I just can't stop caring all of a sudden just because someone tells me to do so.

I eventually had enough of one of them and I literally had a conversation with her saying that I wouldn't want to see her anymore, because I got fed up and that others were true about her. So we removed each other from all social networks and blocked each other. Now, the weird part is that I still consider her as a friend, I feel so much regret because I can not speak to her anymore, but I also feel disgusted.

The story is different for the other friend, but the simplified version would be to say that he promised things, again, and didn't move his finger nor sent any message since. And yet it's been three or four months.

I now have lots of difficulties to forget and forgive, what people say or do leave a mark in my mind. And again, I am here to speak about it and find ways to move on, because I really have memories coming back each day. I have never felt so much anxiety, sadness, depression and anger in a friendship but here.

On the other hand, I've met numerous other friends on ff14 and it's a real pleasure to have them around me.

But about them both, how comes that happened? How can I stop thinking about it? Will I ever be able to?

I do not want to experience a similar thing again, it really is frightening.

Thank you very much ><