Why I Play Healer: A Good Memory, a Philosophy, and some Game Theory.

[NocturniaUzuki]

As a veteran gamer, I rarely get a sense of thrill from games. With the exception of PvP (which I almost never play), games are typically very structured, and once you get the hang of it, you realize that there's a 'correct' response to every situation you are presented with. This is because your opponent is always an AI. This makes gaming very much about pattern recognition and formulating responses to those patterns. This ultimately leads to everything in any particular game becoming repetitive. If I'm able to learn and respond to the pattern, the game is easy. If not, the game is hard.

If the game is 'easy', it becomes boring quite quickly, though there is a certain pleasure in playing out the pattern over and over, trying to achieve perfection. On the other hand, if the game is 'hard', then it becomes aggravating. Not being able to grasp the pattern doesn't make the game a genuine challenge - it just makes it frustrating.

Therefore, rarely have I ever encountered anything while gaming that has given me anything close to the thrill of a challenge - of putting me under immense pressure, where I have to think hard, think fast, and respond to unpredictable new developments in a split second.

In an attempt to create a measure of unpredictability in games (and because I simply like helping people), I usually play a support class, whenever such things exist. This way, in multiplayer games, my job changes from only following the patterns of AI and set rotations of ability use to one where I am responsible for fixing the mistakes of my allies who are, after all, human, and inherently unpredictable.

But even then, there is always a 'correct' response to every situation, and there are usually not so many situations that I cannot memorize what to do for every situation that may arise. After all, there are only as many mistakes my allies can make as there are ways for them to fail to respond to the AI's limited pattern set.

Today, though, I was finally pushed to my limit and beyond. I finally encountered a situation for which I had to give 110% to overcome. I was under so much pressure that I, the veteran gamer who always knows how to respond to the situations I am presented with, became jittery and actually started hitting wrong buttons and casting spells on the wrong target because I was trying to plan and execute so many responses so quickly that I lost control.

In the end, unfortunately, I did not overcome the situation. I became so jittery near the end that, as is often the case when I'm under pressure and near the finish line, I start making silly mistakes. And as a result I ended up dying when the boss had only 1% of its HP left, which my last remaining party members were unable to finish before they went down due to having no healer supporting them.

But win or loss, it was one of, if not the best, moment of my gaming career.

[Starflake]

I have no idea what I just read. Purpose wise at least. Reads like something you should put in your diary.

[Tillen]

What starflake said.

I get where you're going. DPS has a set rotation but healers provide that little but of spontaneity that keeps each fight fun and different. But specifically what fight did you do and what were your tactics that worked / didn't work?

[HawkguyZero]

In the end, unfortunately, I did not overcome the situation. I became so jittery near the end that, as is often the case when I'm under pressure and near the finish line, I start making silly mistakes.

As someone who is new to FFXIV and healing/support classes in general, it's reassuring to hear that this still happens to experienced players from time to time. I had a party wipe the other night on Sastasha (!!!) because the tank did something I wasn't expecting and I didn't adapt quickly enough, then the jitters started and suddenly everyone is dead. Thankfully, they were cool about it and we rocked the rest of the dungeon without any problems.

[Cold_Sand]

I feel like this should be in a blog lol...

[Inuk9]

Just to resume your post:

"I'm so awesome and I'm so good at games"

Yeah bro, nobody cares.

[NocturniaUzuki]

Well, I'm glad at least some people get the point of this post.

I realize that it is essentially a blog post, and even sounds like it could be a diary entry. But the point is mostly just to write something that gamers can empathize with. It's human. It's reality. And I think (or at least hope) that it lays out the bare soul of why most people play support classes.

I'm glad that it encourages newer players by showing them that even experienced players lose their control occasionally. I suppose some of it sounds egotistical, but I don't think there's anything wrong with someone simply recognizing that they are good at something. If we all go around thinking "I really suck at this game" then we'll never feel good about ourselves, which is very bad for one's mental health. Of course, being a narcissist is bad in the other extreme. I don't think I was being narcissistic with this post. It was certainly not my intent to brag, at least. Sure, I can admit that part of what spurred me to write this was just wanting to savour and share that amazing feeling I got, but I did it out of wanting others to empathize, and to hopefully gain something for themselves from it, be it confidence, a new outlook on gaming, or something else.
_________________________________________

As for what experience actually prompted me to write this, I don't think I should say, since it betrays the point of the thread. Putting it in context would cause people to judge it based on that context.

[Lossless]

10/10 Title

5/10 Content

Really disappointing performance by the OC. Failed to elaborate on many things. Failed to motivate me towards healer. It seemed more like a not-so-humble-brag. Would not read again.

[Shai]

Agree the actual details of the anecdote would have been better than just reflecting on some abstract event none of us are privy to. I don't mind the diary prose style of a forum post. It can be refreshing, but if you're going to reflect upon a story - you have to tell the story. Play to your audience. =)

This is also why I play healer, by the way.

[Gemina]

Well, I'm glad at least some people get the point of this post.

I realize that it is essentially a blog post, and even sounds like it could be a diary entry. But the point is mostly just to write something that gamers can empathize with. It's human. It's reality. And I think (or at least hope) that it lays out the bare soul of why most people play support classes.

Oh trust me, I have my share of blog posts! Don't stress it too much, but FWIW I did start a thread for those wanting to express their love for this role. It's a little buried now with all the SB stuff going on, but do feel free to chime in if you'd like: http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...playing-healer

I totally get you, and it is a big reason why I spend the majority of my time in Duty Finder when it comes to grouping. I can memorize the mechanics of a fight with the best of them, but I can never predict what my comrades are going to do. However, I also enjoy the comfort of my static and being able to know I can trust the peeps coming along, especially if I am not comfortable for whatever reason.

At the very least, it at least helps keep my adaptation skills sharp, which in turn helps me respond better to fights I don't know. To this day though, if I am in 8-man and everyone is dead or dying, I still can't help but feel like it is all my fault. But I seem to enjoy bearing that cross, no matter how steep the hill.