I'm not sure how, but people have apparently become very bad at the second easiest content in FFXIV: the Hero on the Halfshell guildhest. I've seen all manner of ridiculous nonsense go on in this guildhest, so I thought I'd write a helpful guide!
- Take out the lalafells, because they heal (also because they're lalafells).
- Take out the efts because they make it hard to see anything.
- Don't bring the turtle to the trap yet.
- No, seriously, just leave him where it is. No, White Mage, that doesn't mean nudge him over with Fluid Aura because you think you know better than I do. Stop that!
- Get the turtle to 50%.
- Everyone, stop attacking the turtle. Never hit it again! STOP.
- Run over to the newly spawned Fire Sprite. It will be on the side of the arena further away from the most people, so it's not that easy to bait. Yes, the tank should go attack it too. He should have plenty of hate on the turtle and can ignore it for the rest of the guildhest.
- Once the fire sprite is dead, everyone Sprint to the trap. Whoever gets there first, light it.
- Tank: run to the trap, then look at where the turtle is. You want to run past the trap on the exact opposite side of the turtle, and move far enough back that the turtle runs through the trap. It doesn't need to stop on it, it just needs to pass through it for a moment.
- No, seriously, tank, MOVE BACK. You're too close! I just explained this!
- When the message pops up, you've already won. You can even talk to the NPC before you get teleported, showing off your mad skillz. You're sure to get a commendation for being so cool!
- Wait, you somehow screwed this up for so long that the trap went out and the efts respawned?! Well, note that the fire sprite also respawned, so go kill it again and relight the trap.
- If you screw this up twice, first, I'm sorry your tank is not paying attention to party chat. But second, the efts and fire sprite will respawn again so you have another chance!