The magnificent myotragus has been neglected long enough. No longer should these goats be slaughtered by adventures for their skins and horns. They should be prized, protected, and treated like the noble beasts they are. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and what this game REALLY needs--more than increased housing wards, more than battle system changes, more than Stormblood itself--is goat farms.

INTRODUCING Final Fantasy Fourteen: Myotragus Ranch.

As with Housing, you buy a plot for your ranch: small, medium, or large. The larger the ranch, the more goats you can keep. Instead of buying a Housing Permit, you buy a Herd Permit. Once you have your herd, you can design your ranch. This will of course mean new crafting recipes: Fencing, goat feed, different styles of troughs! Fancy sheds! Decorative jewelry for their horns! Blankets to keep them warm!

But this isn't just Housing for Goats! You have to care for your herd. You have to grow your herd. And how do you do that?

1. Breeding: Choose which myotragus billy and myotragus nanny have the traits you want to breed for: Color? personality? Strength? Shininess of coat? After enough generations, you have a truly unique looking herd! If your friend has a goat herd, you can temporarily trade goats for breeding. Especially important once you're a few generations in, no one wants inbred goats.

2. Cleaning the Ranch. Yes, you have to clean the ranch! A timed mini-game, where your character has to run around and collect as many cow pats as possible in a set amount of time. The cleaner the ranch, the happier the goats. You can also get bonus items in this game, like shedded goats skins and horns. YES SHEDDED, DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOUR GOATS FOR THEIR SKINS YOU MONSTER?

3. Feeding your goats. Run from trough to trough, filling them with food!

4. Training your goat. Teach your favorite goat to accept a rider! Successfully completing this minigame 50 times gives you an achievement and the ability to summon a goat mount.

If you neglect your goats and go a week without caring for them, you get a very special fifth minigame.

5. BRINGING YOUR ESCAPED GOATS HOME. You've neglected your goats! You come back after two weeks away from the game to discover that your ranch is in ruins! Fences kicked down, troughs overturned, and all the goats are missing! You must travel across Eorzea to find your lost goats and convince them to return home. And don't you're getting off easy, either. You neglected those goats, you have to bribe them to come back.

Forget raiding. Forget glamours. MYOTRAGUS RANCH is the true endgame!